Living Well: Letting Go

I have some free time at work today, so I figured I'd jot some thoughts down.

people always say that you can't love others until you love yourself. and I firmly believe that you can't love yourself until you learn to let go. letting go is one of the biggest things I struggle with. but when I do, I find more appreciation and accept myself easier. it's easier to find love within yourself when you can let the bad - or what you may consider bad - things go.

Chris and I have been together for six years - since I was 18. and sometimes when I think about things I did (or didn't do) when I was that age, I think I'm a horrible person. what kind of girlfriend makes her boyfriend leave his friend's wedding early? what kind of girlfriend blew little things out of proportion?

I did.

and that's exactly it, I did. those were things I did in the past. when I was young. when I was basically lost and didn't know who I was. do I do those same kind of things now? no (or at least I try really hard not to or not as often). before I can accept the person I am today and love her, I have to let go of the person I was. I cannot change the (what seems to be to me) awful things I did in the past - I can only ensure that I am putting the effort in every day to be better. I've let go of the person I was because I know I've grown into the awesome person I am today. I have no regrets - I know I wasn't perfect before, but everything happens for a reason. and those things made me into the person I am today.

I feel that once you are able to let go of the things you've done or the person you used to be, you can work on letting go of the hurtful things others have done to you that left you scarred. everything's a cycle - you can expect to let go of something someone did to you if you can't let go of things you did to people. just like you can't love others until you love yourself.

quote lyric of the moment:
"Regrets and mistakes
they are memories made"
-Adele "Someone Like You"


quick update

it's difficult to keep up with a blog when you work full time, an avid sports fanatic, planning a wedding, or a loyal family member. unfortunately I'm (d) all of the above. if I'm not exhausted from working all day I'm watching football. if there's no football on, I'm trying to gather things for a wedding. if I'm not planning a wedding, I have dinner plans or something planned with my parents. so time for me to sit down for a good period of time to write out an interesting blog with substance is limited. and finishing half written posts I've written is even more difficult. ahh!

so, since I'm short on time here's a quick list of the most exciting and/or important things that happened in my life since my last post (September 2nd).

  1. Chris and I finally decided to take the leap and get married and had my lovely SIL take some pictures of us for save the dates.
  2. doctors did some testing on Chris to see if something could be done with his epilepsy (he'll be going back soon for more to determine if he could do surgery or some other alternative to stop his seizures).
  3. booked a venue & picked a date for our upcoming wedding!
  4. went camping with the fam and we determined that Ginger and my parent's dog, Cheyenne, will never be friends again.
  5. thought I was going to lose my job or my mind from all the forecasting I was sucking at.
  6. almost lost the date & venue we picked due to a double-booking issue (luckily we booked first!)
  7. sent out our save the dates (no turning back now).
also, if you're a photographer or photography lover and can't leave your camera at home you should head over to Danielle's blog at Sometimes Sweet. she's hosting a wonderful giveaway for these gorgeous and amazing camera bags. I'm hoping to snag one for the before mentioned lovely SIL to give her an adorable bag to safely hold her camera while she's out and about. so go on over & check it out!


how time flies

if I were to go back to August 28th, 2005, I never would have have guessed how my life would have turned out. I just moved away from home to a new city and was about to start my college career. I was so not confident about anything. I was very dependent on others and didn't even have my driver's license. I had no idea what journey I was about to embark on nor did I know where I was going to end up. I was just going with the flow.

I remember going to Outback that night, wanting to die. (I just hiked all day and had a horrible cold on top of it.) never would I have thought I would meet this person who would change my life forever.

first date at Outback. (2005)
I remember the main thing I found attractive about this person (besides his curls that he claims he never had looked curly to me) was his sense of humor. and how easy it was for him to win over my dad. (hell, my dad was the one who asked him to date me!) although it was a very awkward night for someone as insecure as I was, we exchanged numbers and about a week later he gave me a call and we've been by each other's side ever since.
one year anniversary. (2006)
I encouraged him to go back to school while I was starting my first semester of Chemical Engineering at U of A. He started out in Civil Engineering but soon switched over to Mining Engineering and that's when we embarked on our careers together. he "helped" me land my first internship as a sophomore in an industry I never even considered working in. but I haven't turned back and don't know anything else.
me & chris & a tire.
our first internship together. (2007)
we fought, I cried, we made up, and we struggled. I had nothing but doubts for a long time but was too scared to leave, even though my friends kept telling me to. and even though I felt alone in the relationship, he was my rock. not to mention he was basically my tutor. but something told me keep trying. because I saw the person he was on the inside...deep inside. and I liked that person. a lot.
hiking in Elko, NV. (2008)
I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for him. I may not have even graduated college. I definitely wouldn't be working in the industry I am now. and I'm thankful he has been there to get me to where I am today.
Alicia and Chris before the ceremony
at my college graduation. (2009)
Chris is my best friend. no one is as accepting of me and my quirky and sometimes childish ways as he is. no one supports me the way he does. no one helps me grow into more of an adult every day by challenging me and guiding me.
at a suns game. (2010)
and six years later, here we are. six years of heartache. six years of laughter. six years of struggles. six years of understanding. six years of love.

it's amazing how long we've been together. it used to scare the hell out of me, but now I'm looking forward to the time we'll have together for the rest of our lives. we have grown so much together and are finally getting in our own groove. we're finally starting to understand each other and express ourselves in a way that helps us grow rather than destroy us.
date night in Durango, CO. (2011)
when I really think about everything we've been through I stop doubting and start realizing this is real. 

we may have our problems and he may not be the best communicator and I may be too emotional, but we're pretty damn great together. even though it was last Sunday, happy anniversary babe.


LSNT: August 23rd!

ahhh! I don't want August to be over. after August will come September and then the cold. eewww...

I still have to post pictures of Chris and mine's trip to Durango, CO - it was so beautiful there. perfect weather and amazingly green. but I've just been so busy and then this weekend I'm going to San Diego with my girls!! it's so nice to have a job so I can go on vacations and stuff. love my life.

anyways, I wanted to get this up before Tuesday ended. :)

If you had $1000 to spend right now on a single thing, what would it be?
so buying $1,000 worth of cds is not acceptable? dang. well the, honestly, there's not a single thing I'm really itching for right now. so I'd probably pay off my credit cards. ha. I'm such a responsible nerd.

Which one of your pets is your favorite?
shhhh, don't tell Ginger, but it's definitely Pepper. you form a different relationship with a pet that you've raised since a puppy versus one you get in the middle of their life. especially one you get so close to because she's dying and you have to give her all your love & attention to keep her alive. she's my little baby. but I do love Ginger lots & would be absolutely heartbroken if we lost her.

Did you ever own a waterbed?
no, but I remember my Tia TK owning one when I was younger and always thinking it was THE coolest thing ever.

What is your favorite color gummy bear?
red and clear. yum.

Do you have any favorite shows that are coming back on soon?
Grey's Anatomy (I'm hoping it'll be better than last season), GLEE!! (sooo stoked to see the winner of The Glee Project on it!), Dancing with the Stars, and Castle. <3

Do you have any great bloggy friends?
I don't think I've made myself known enough in the blogging world to have "bloggy" friends. :(

It's not too late to join in! (at least not here in AZ...)


i heart fashion: nail color of the month: August

I know August is almost over, but I've been too busy to actually be able to post my August pick of the month. August is one of my favorite months. Not only is my birthday during August, but August was always the best time for the pool. When I was younger, I was always in my parents' pool. When I got into high school my tolerance level for cold water greatly diminished and pool time required warmer waters. and August always seemed to be the warmest months. I remember trying to get our swim on most in August, watching the monsoon storms come over the Superstition Mountains. 

August to me is all about fun. It's the last few weeks of freedom and being free before school starts. It's when you take the road trip to the beach. It's the month of shopping for that new wardrobe and getting a new look. 

so my August nail color pick is something bright and summery.

please ignore my bony hands

Essie's Peach Daiquiri
I'm not much of a fan of pink and especially hot pink, so I was a little hesitant when I bought this color. but once I swipped it on my nails, I immediately fell in love. I feel like it's more of a cross between a hot pink and a bright reddish-orange color. and to me, it just screams summer days at the beach/by the pool.

How do you feel about my August pick?


i heart fashion: lovely looks: Urban Outfitters Summer Sale

Madeline over at Über Chic shared with her readers that Urban Outfitters is having a summer sale. I'm usually not a big UO fan, but I figured I mosey on over to see what they have. Turns out they have some pretty adorable stuff for good prices & they still have plenty of different sizes! Below are some of my favorite looks.

1: byCORPUS Button Trim Dress ($59.99 $19.99)

Make sure you have plenty of time to go through all their sale items because there is TONS of it!


LSNT: August 9th.

Ahhh! It's Tuesday! I am soo stoked for Thursday! Chris & I are packing our bags and taking a road trip to Durango, CO to stay at a cute B&B & ride the Durango-Silverton train! Assuming it's still running that is (I heard there was a recent mudslide that stopped the trains). I'm really looking forward to taking a few days off work to completely relax and bond with Chris. We've been getting along pretty well lately. It truly makes life so much easier when you're getting along with your significant other. I hate stress.

Anyways, on to Learn Something New Tuesday for this week!

1. Christmas is a little over four months away! Do you think the year 2011 went by too quickly?????
yes and no. there's times where I feel like it was just January and then there's times were January seemed so far away.

2. Schools are starting back up! What was your favorite subject?
other than band, it would definitely be chemistry. or math. I really enjoyed math until I got to college. then again I only enjoy chemistry and band in high school too. my favorite subject in college would be this crime class I took.

3. Would you ever consider plastic surgery?
I think the only thing that I get insecure about these days (other than my "fat," but I know I can exercise & eat right to get rid of that) is my nose. I have what we call the "Ramirez bump" (or what I call anyways) which is this awkward bump on the bridge of my nose.

4. How many months is it until your birthday?
12 since my birthday just passed on Sunday!! (wooohooo!)

5. Do you know exactly what you want to do with your life?
for the most part. I know I want to stay in the mine industry. I know I want a family. and I know I want to stay close to my family.

6.Would you be willing to be examined for medical research?
depends on the research and if I'm still alive. If I'm dead then of course! but if I'm alive, I think I would be a little more picky.

Don't forget to head over to "What Would Jen Do?" and join in!


believe in me

I haven't written in a while because life has given me a couple of challenges to overcome within the past few weeks. I won't go into details, but I've been forced to take a closer look at my values and morals and beliefs. I've had to chose when the right time to put my foot down is when it comes to what I believe in. And I've had to find the energy to move on.

We had a thief going through our offices. Someone who was stealing money. And we had an idea who it was. The supervisors and I got what most people would think is enough evidence against the individual and turned it into HR. Our HR reps then conducted an "investigation." It was at this time, that I realized for the first time in my life, that HR does not fight for their employees. Instead, they fight for the company.

I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, "well, yeah, duh." but I had more trust in the company that I worked for. And especially for the people that work down the hall from me. They didn't even bother fighting for us. They just gave in. Brought the thief back to work. No penalty. Nothing.

I was angry. I was upset. I was disgusted. How can I work for a company that feels comfortable bringing a thief back into the workforce? How can they think it's right to force everyone else to take extra precautions and lock up their lunches & offices because of one individual that we know is guilty of stealing? What kind of morals do these people have?

I had a lot of thinking to do during the past couple of weeks. A lot of deep thinking - the exhausting kind. The kind that drains you emotionly and tears you apart. I couldn't believe what was happening. I put trust in others and it comes back to bite me in the ass. What did I ever do wrong?

I found myself questioning my morals and values. I even contemplated quitting my job. I thought that maybe me quitting, or threatening to quit, would make them realize what they were doing was wrong. They were bringing back a thief. We had proof. I don't want to work for a company that doesn't fight for their employees.

If you watch the Glee Project like I do, then you should know this week Cameron (my fave!) didn't get kicked off, but rather chose to leave. WHY?! he was so talented and relatable and adorable! but he didn't feel like he could put his beliefs aside and act character that is "sexable." I'm sure there's other reasons, but this was the jist of the episode.

It got me thinking back to my situation though. Should I quit my job because they didn't have the same beliefs I did? I asked myself, if I were Cameron would I have quit because I was told to kiss someone? and I was easily able to answer no. Because a job is a job. you do it to make a living. As long as I stuck to my beliefs and knew what my morals were, I would be ok acting a character who may not have the same beliefs. Because that's the job.

So did I quit? No. Because I know that all the supervisors here and the rest of the crew out on the floor, back me up. They are just as angry as I am. It doesn't make sense why our own HR reps would do what they're doing (I could understand corporate, but our own people?) but I've had to accept the fact that HR only looks at the costs to the company. I know what my beliefs and morals are. And I know that the actual human beings that I work with on a daily basis have the same morals as I do.


LSNT! July 19th.

I figured it's been a while since I've done one of these.

1. When is the last time you read the printed paper?
I haven't read read a printed paper in quite some time. I scan through our local paper every once in a while, but that's about it.

2. Who would you rather go on a date with, George Clooney, Brad Pitt or David Beckham?
Justin Timberlake for sure. what?? he's not on the list? disappointing...

3. Do you like to cook? Do you have a specialty dish?
I don't mind it that much, really, I'm just too lazy to do it. the one dish that I can cook pretty well would have to be our family recipe for tuna casserole. it's super easy but delicious.

4. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
I've always wanted to visit Italy. no particular reason...

5. If you’re married, do you see yourself married to the same person for the rest of your life? If you’re not married, do you see yourself getting married?
I would hope to get married someday. it would be kind of sad if I don't...

6. What is your favorite time of the day?
I don't think I have a favorite time of day...it all seems the same to me. there's not certain time that happens every day that I'm just totally psyched for. 

don't forget to click the link below to join in on the fun!


i heart fashion: nail color of month: July

I'm a big fan of nail colors. I may not paint my nails very often, but I don't like wearing the same color all the time. since my career strips me of showing personality through clothing, nails are the next second things to be creative with. so I often paint my nails to match my mood, the season, and my likes. (on a side note: my toenails will always have color on them. for some reason, I think toenails with no color look completely freakish and unattractive. so if I don't paint my fingernails all the time, I will at least take the time to paint my toenails.)

which leads me to another new series: nail color of the month! (which will be a sub series of "i heart fashion" which will be a series I can share all my favorite fashion items and post things I just adore.) I get an email updates from Glamour magazine quite often and every month they pick their "nail color of the month." very seldom do I agree though because their colors never seem to be in the right season for me or match the mood of our area. but I also think they're on the east coast. so consider this is a west coast version.

I know July is almost over, but it's never too late to change the look of your nails. and I'm not sure how the weather is where you've been, but here in Miami/Mesa, Arizona it's been quite odd. One day it's nearing 115 degrees and sunny and the next it's cloudy and threatening to rain. typical monsoon weather I suppose, but usually our monsoon seasons hit around August/September. so to me, it's been an unusual month. so the color I picked for this month is a nice soft blue, it's Essie's "Lapis of Luxury". 

it kind of reminds me of gloomy-ish days while still being optimistic of pool time. I usually like bright colors for the summer, but I think this is a nice summer color without being too in your face, since that's how I've been feeling here in AZ lately. like today, bright sunny, hot as hell, and then BAM! rain and thunder. 

What do you guys think of my first nail color pick of the month?


Living Well: Introduction and Portions

I'm not sure if it's the season or the realization of the importance of health, but people all around me are taking more time to take care of themselves these days. and although I may not be working out every day like I feel like I should, I am trying to work out at least 3 times a week. sure I want to lose the pudgy gut I have, but I mainly just want to get a head start on my health. I see people all around with health problems due to their weight. I don't like the doctor and I don't like being sick, so if I can avoid having issues in the future, I'm a happy camper.

let's face it: our society is an unhealthy, overweight society. (I'm not saying everyone of course.) our society thrives on its ability to make things easier, more convenient, tastier, which in turn, becomes less healthy for us. we feel like we have no choice but to go through the drive thru for that Breakfast Jack when we're late and on the go. and we feel like we don't have time to exercise regularly. that's simply not true. there's things we can incorporate into our lives to keep us healthy and not disturb our busy world. we need to realize that it's ok to take a few extra moments for our health. because a few extra moments now could give you a few extra years later. (deep I know.)

so I'm starting a "Living Well" series. I am by NO means a health expert. I'm very guilty of fast/junk food addictions. but I am a real person trying to be healthy and I want to share my tips and observations along the way. these are merely ideas/suggestions. you may or may not see the same results.

my department held a 3-month long Weight Loss Challenge to try to encourage our coworkers to get in shape. Chris ended up winning the challenge (and a whopping $384!!) along with the satisfaction of losing a total of 30.7 pounds! he lost 12 pounds in the first week!! Even though Chris blew everyone else out of the park, the rest of my coworkers are excited to try the challenge again (not during the summer and without Chris). Rex (my new boss) even suggested they work out together at the gym. it's nice to see people motivating each other to get into a healthy shape. the timing was bad for this go around with the monsoons requiring more work and stress, so I'm looking forward to the next go around.

my dad has also joined a weight loss challenge at his work. this one is only for a month, but my dad already lost 15 pounds in the first week! his challenge is still ongoing but I'm ecstatic to see my dad taking a step to be healthier.

so what are their big secrets? how in the world did they lose so many pounds in the first week alone? I'm assuming you're curious. well, the main change I saw that they both incorporated into their lives was smaller portions. that's it. instead of piling food so high on your plate and getting seconds (and even thirds) they just controlled their portions. they stopped eating when they were full. I'm not saying to skip meals. eat every meal like you normally would, just eat less. don't get to the point where you feel stuffed and uncomfortable. if you can lose over 10 pounds in a week just by eating smaller portions*, imagine what you can lose when you combine that with exercise!

*of course I cannot guarantee that you will see the same results.


yes, I'm still alive...

just to quickly summarize the basics of what has gone on in my life since my last post:

  1. my boss left the company and ended up screwing me over by not teaching me anything.
  2. I celebrated the victory of the Dallas Mavericks waay too much and hopefully never again.
  3. my baby, Pepper, turned one year old.
  4. we bought an elliptical.
  5. my best friend from tucson, Roy, and his pregnant wife moved in with us for the summer.
  6. Chris and I started couples counselling again with a different counsellor.
  7. I know how to tend a vegetable/fruit garden.
  8. I learned how to bake zucchini bread, zucchini brownies, and zucchini muffins.
  9. I can put my hair up in a high ponytail (I joined my cousin, aunt, and mom in the challenge of growing our hair out for Locks of Love).
  10. I've become convinced that someone stole my camera from my office (or I just really misplaced it).
  11. I bought a new camera.
  12. saw the new Transformers movie. (AWESOME!)
  13. got a new cell phone.
  14. Chris and I have been fighting less and getting along more.
  15. Chris won a weight-loss challenge we were doing at work and contributed a big chunk of money to my birthday trip (see below).
so basically not a whole lot has changed. and although I probably could scrounge up enough thoughts and opinions to write a post, I just have not had the time to do so. since my boss left and I have assumed his responsibilities, my work days are more stressful and exhausting. and I try to be as productive and efficient as I can during my 4-5 hours of time at home after work by either baking (due to the operpopulation of zucchinis from my parents' garden), working out (I've got to get to my "San Diego body"!), or trying to get some rest.

due to the fact that Chris chose to ignore my birthday last year, he's insisting we take a week-long trip during the week of my birthday. we have plenty of PTO to burn so I'm not gonna say no. initially I wanted to go to Seattle but I'm starting to think about other possibilities. we bought a time share a few years back (before we even graduated college! talk about irresponsibility and impulsive buying!) so we might use that to go somewhere more exotic. who knows. 

I'm going to try to blog more often and not just about random things going on in my life, because I feel like that gets pretty boring. so I have to restructure my thought process to have a more interesting and helpful blog. something that people can relate to. relationship issues. growing up. working full-time. music. family. opinions. something people will want to read. that's my goal.


music in my life: concerts

♥yellowcard [8/7/06]
Yellowcard in Tucson ('06)
the very first concert I ever attended was STYX when I really young (maybe 8 or 9?). I remember the previous year they came to Phoenix for their summer tour and my parents wouldn't take me. I was absolutely crushed because at the time, STYX was my all-time favorite band (still one of my all-time faves). I cried while listening to their "Best of..." album on repeat the whole night they played in town that year. the next year, my parents learned. they bought me tickets. (can we say spooooiiiiled?)
♥ the academy is... [9/26/07]
The Academy Is... in Tucson ('07)
the one thing I remember about that concert was that I was one of the few standing in our section belting out the songs. I remember looking down the row and seeing this older man standing and singing and cheering and I remember trying to outdo him because, of course, I was definitely more excited to be there. (first sign of my over-the-top competiveness.) I screamed my little 8-or-9-year-old head off that night.
♥paolo nutini [9/19/07]
Paolo Nutini in Tucson ('07)

the second concert I went to was definitely N Sync back in high school. 
my friend Julia and I were obsessed at the time and made our own T-shirts and everything. We even braided our hair into a bazillion little braids (the goal was to put little beads in the braids that spelt out the names & such, but we could not find beads anywhere). we had so much fun that night, being your average teeny-boppers.
♥snow patrol [7/18/07]
Snow Patrol in Phoenix ('07)
when I went off to college my yearning to go to concerts magnified. the first show I saw in Tucson was a free show on campus by Rufio - my friend Finn dragged me. but I had tons of fun. The first show I saw at the historical Rialto (Tucson's number one venue) was The Academy Is... with Panic! At the Disco with my friend Chris (not boyfriend Chris). That was my first real "rock" concert. After that I was hooked. I craved being next to the stage and listening to live music.

♥the format [10/6/06]
The Format in Tucson ('06)
I went to a lot of concerts in Tucson while I was in college. I've seen a lot of great bands and learned about a lot of new bands. I loved every part of live shows. screaming/yelling at the top of your lungs when they started playing your favorite song. the jumping/pushing/moshing. the bass beats rumbling through your body. meeting the band afterwards. taking pictures, lots of pictures. seeing how close to the stage you can get. the ringing in your ears when you go home to fall into bed. everything. every time a band I knew came into town, I was there. 

Jason Mraz in Tucson ('08)

rock shows were my love - they were my hobby. I've done my fair share of pushing and shoving. as I got closer to my senior year and post-grad life, I toned it down a bit going to some more low-key shows like snow patrol, the muse, and such, mainly because I was tired of fighting with high school kids. but I still love going to live shows. it's hard to go now in Phoenix since there's so many different venues and the pickings are slim, but I want ot be the kind of person who's going to shows until my hair starts turning gray.
that will be me.
me & most of ..the fray...
me & 3/4ths of The Fray at Jimmy John's in Tucson ('07)

quote of the moment:
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
-Aldous Huxley


Learn Something New Tuesday! Vol. Three

I have a lot of half-written posts saved that I need to remember to finish when I get home. but they're there. I swear. and it's more than a questionnaire I stole from someone else. :)

annnnywho. here's this week's list of random questions.

1. Have you ever gone swimming in the moonlight?
a few times when I still lived with my parents. it's nice, but the bugs that are attracted to the light (if we have the pool light on) drive me crazy.

2. In your whole house, what room do you stay in the most?

well considering I get about 6-8 hrs of sleep at night and I am in my house awake only 4-5 hrs of the day, it would definitely be the bedroom. but when I'm awake I spend most of the time in the family room.

3. How much time do you spend on computer a week?
my job requires me to be at my computer most of the day so that's kind of unfair. but at home I would say maybe an 4-6 hrs a week?

4. If a stranger gave you a cookie, would you eat it?
probably. I'm a sucker for cookies. at least if they're bakery people handing out samples or something. I probably (or at least I hope) wouldn't take one from some weird creepy person on the street.

5. What’s one thing you’re looking forward to?

planting the rest of our plants and ordering gravel so we can have a nice backyard I can get furniture for.

6. If I say “psycho”, who is the first person that comes to your mind?

my ex, TJ.

join in the fun!


why I am having an awesome Friday so far...

  • got to my office to find my new office phone installed
  • got confirmation that our new backyard tree and bushes were delivered
  • have siiiick seats to the diamondbacks game tonight with my parents
  • going to Tucson tomorrow for a wedding
  • found out my boss is leaving to go to Utah
  • my leftover salad from last night was still delicious (although my toppings to lettuce ratio is waaaay off)
  • it's Friday!!
hope everyone elseis having a fabulous Friday!


Learn Something New Tuesday! Vol. Two

It's seriously so hard for me to find time to blog. I have ideas of what to blog about but am exhausted by the time I get home from work. (if I'm exhausted from sitting in my office/driving around the mine/going to meetings all day, I'd hate to see how I feel raising kids!) I have a couple more "music in my life" posts to write but again, it's hard for me to find enough time to sit down and write good reviews. but they'll be coming.

It seems every weekend has been jammed-packed for me. This weekend we'll be going to a D-Backs game (courtesy of work - well a vendor we work with) then we'll head down to Tucson on Saturday for a wedding for one of Chris's close friends. (Chris will be the last one out of the group, I think.) then Sunday we'll probably be planting the trees/shrubs that will have been delivered on Friday. phew.

Anyways, onto Learn Something New Tuesday! This week's category is "random."

Do you get nervous before going to a doctors appointment?

indeed I do. I hate not knowing what the outcome may be. I'm always paranoid that something's wrong with me that I didn't notice. I watch too many Discovery Health shows...

Do you have a favorite piece of jewelry?
I used to have these pair of gold loop earrings that had like a little strand spiralling around the loop that my tata gave to me and I loooved, but I dropped one of them down my friend Tracy's sister's drain a long time ago. I still have the other one.
I love LOVE LOOOOVE my engagement ring but I don't get to wear that very often... :(

What type of songs do you sing in the shower?
I really don't sing in the shower. I can never remember the words of songs in the shower.

When you were younger, did you ever have cartoon sheets?
yeah. I remember having Minnie Mouse sheets.

Do you care about the William and Kate wedding?
not really. I think the Kate gal is pretty and has good style but other than that I don't pay too much attention.

How many TV’s are in your house?
I only have one actual TV in the living room. 

wanna join in on the fun?


Learn Something New Tuesday! Vol. One

I thought it would be fun to participate in random questionnaires hosted by a friend of a friend of my sister's blog. Because it's a Tuesday and I'm bored. :)

this week's questions are categorized as "random."

Are you annoyed by people who don't type correctly?
I'm annoyed when people use abbreviations for words. Like "FML" or "ttyl." but I mainly hate when people are "incapable" of typing out the whole word, like "U" or "4" or "NEthing." It just seems lazy to me. unless you're talking about finger placement on the keys, then I don't care.

Are you a grammar freak?
Yes & no. I'm not overly a freak about it, but I do find myself correcting people in my head every once in a while. my biggest grammar peeves are when people use "their" instead of "they're" or when people use "and me" instead of "and I" or visa versa. I know. I'm a nerd.

Do you love the popcorn at movie theatres?
YES. it's pretty much the highlight of my movie experience.

Where is the best place to go buy pizza?
Papa Murphy's. mmmmm.

What was the last award you received?
umm. my sister gave me one but I'm not sure what it's called exactly.

Are you a beach person or a mountain person?
I spend most of my time in the mountains since that's all Arizona has. but I do love the beach and have the goal to visit San Diego at least once a year.

black holes and revelations

it's quite amazing how much someone can influence your actions. I've always been a "be yourself" and "who cares what others think" kind of girl but I have learned to find it harmless to care what people think (to an extent) and to be influence by the people you spend your time around. and lately it makes me wonder who am I? a lot more. I mean, not just who am I? but who do I want to be? I know who I am - I'm Alicia. I work at a mine. I co-own a house, a car, and two dogs. and I have an awesome family that I'm really close with. But am I good? am I caring? am I spontaneous and fun? these are the things I feel a little more lost on. But that's the process of transisting from childhood/teen-hood to adulthood, right? that's what your 20s are for: finding out who you really are.

I find myself quite influenced by others lately. My brother & sister-in-law just bought their first home and within weeks of living there, it looks like a home. It looks like somewhere you can raise a family and eat spaghetti on the couch while watching movies. and it reflects who they are perfectly. my sister has done such a swell job at decorating their place. it made me slightly jealous. I love their house! I love what they've done with it. and it made me look around my own house (with Chris of course) and realize how it still looks new. sure, we've added a lot of furniture to it, but there's not much decorating. you can't look around and see mine or Chris's personality in it. I want a homey-home and ours doesn't meet the criteria. so my sister encouraged me to be more involved in decorating our house. I've always enjoy decorating and coordinating patterns and colors (I still wonder if I should have majored in interior decorating rather than chemical engineering) and I want to find more time to do it. I need to stop being lazy and embrace the bonding experience it will bring Chris and me (hopefully).

I also visited my dear friend Jenna this weekend who is a wonderful baker/cook. She whipped up some banana nut muffins within half an hour and they were DE-LISH-OUS. she inspired me to try harder to be a better cook and to take a shot at baking. I want to be more of a housewifegirlfriend. I want to be able to bake treats for people and make meals for parties. I want to be a hostess more and have people enjoy my cooking/baking.

overall, I think I want to become a better adult. take care of myself more. start relying on myself rather than others (they never follow through). and stop depending on restaurants to provide meals.


annoyance of the day: trucks that people lift so much they look like monster trucks

example of overly-lifted truck

I don't have a problem with people who drive trucks and I accept the fact that some people like lifting their trucks higher (although I think it looks a little ridiculous), but I don't understand people who lift their trucks so much that it looks monster truck-esque. I absolutely cannot wrap my head around any kind of reasoning as to lifting it so high. I don't think it looks "cool" and I find it unbelievable that anyone would. but people do. and most of the time I will look the other way, but here's why I dislike them so much:
  1. they're lights are blinding
  2. they spew out disgusting black smoke
  3. they can't see where they're going and subsequently can't stay on the road
  4. I can't see around them to pass
  5. they're slow
I mean really. if you have the inability to stay in your lane, then you shouldn't be allowed to drive. and I would think people "soup" up their vehicles to drive faster and look cooler (at least I would) but for some reason every huge-ass truck I get behind is slow - like, below-the-speed-limit slow. what's the point then?

I got stuck behind one of these "monsters" on the way to Chris's office this morning. the speed limit is 25. I was going 15 and still couldn't get far enough behind him to avoid the black cloud while still moving. (it doesn't help that you have to go up this big hill to get to the mine offices.) and then the douche drove down the middle of the road the whole way! it's bad enough the road is already quite narrow. if I were coming the other way (which I would have been if I was 5 minutes earlier), I would be definitely ran off the road, if not crushed.

I want to punch this guy. if you're going to lift your truck so high for wahtever reason, at least respect the other drivers on the road - don't act like you're better than everyone else because you are bigger. you're not a haul truck - you don't scare me.

good news though: this fellow forgot to set his parking brake in the parking lot today and rolled backwards through a fence and into a ditch. and because of our site policy, an incident report had to be filed (which everyone will see tomorrow) and he had to be taken for a drug & alcohol test. I'm sure he got into trouble with his supervisor too. karma tastes so sweet.


just another manic monday

I hate Mondays (who doesn't) and I usually try to take it easy Mondays at work to allow myself to recover from the weekend (not the hard-partying recovering, but more the try-to-get-as-much-done-as-you-can-on-your-only-two-days-off-and-still-see-family-and-catch-up-on-favorite-tv-shows-and-get-adequate-sleep kind of recovering). however, with my new responsibilities at work comes less time "take it easy" at work - which is probably the reason why I've felt soo exhausted the past couple of weeks that I have NO energy to do anything let alone work out (thank god I still have 5 months until San Diego).

as I was sitting in my morning meeting today, and filling line after line in my planner, I realized I have a shit load to do today. bummers. (guess no close-the-door-nap). but out of the 16 things I needed to do today, I completed 12 of them, and started 2 of them.

yeeeaaaaaah booooooiiiy.

and now my day is over. amazing. I know.


music in my life: mumford and sons

first of all, this album is by no means my typical choice of music. I've never been much of a country fan mainly because of what I call the "twanginess" of the music. I don't know what it is I have against banjos and stomping of the feet, but it always made me nauseous. I've also never been a fan of overly christian music - the kind that praises God in every line. however, mumford and sons is just that: banjos and stomping of the feet blended with spirituality.

I bought this album for two reasons: (1) I saw a snippet of their performance at the grammy's and was drawn to their obvious passion and enjoyment when performing and (2) it was $7.99. and I just can't seem to stop listening to it. when I popped the album in my car for our morning drive to work, I wasn't sure what to expect. and then the band belts out in perfect unison: serve God, love me and mend. at first I thought, oh brother, did I just buy a christian album? but as the song progressed and crescendoed into this powerful refrain

love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free,
be more like the man you were made to be
I knew I was hooked.

it's been a couple of weeks since I bought this album and I can't get it out of my head. it's like the songs are the soundtrack to my life, always playing in the background. and it's not just one song - I'll have one song playing over and over in my head when I wake up, a different one by lunch time, and then a new one when I go to bed. the music is almost haunting. it really sticks with you.

this is a powerful album. it is soft & dainty and then strong & thunderous. the lyrics are beautifully written with so much heart and sadness. uplifting, even cheerful songs are creatively mixed with songs of darkness. each song is poetic - without the instruments they can be read like a poem. it's almost as if the album throws you back to a different time period with its majestic feel with hints of spirituality. I envision being at a grand ball for the king when track number 5, "white blank page," comes on. 

this band has a certain rawness - a sort of grittiness - that I truly admire when it comes to musicians. not just about laying it all out on the line, but the ability to make the listener
feel the emotions of the songs. I listen to them and not only do I hear the passion in their voice, but I feel the pain, the remorse, of the singer. this type of rawness is very rare, especially on an album.

quick facts
favorite song(s): "the cave," "white blank page," "I gave you all," "little lion man," "after the storm"
number of songs skipped: 0. this is one of the few albums that I don't skip any.
favorite time to listen: any time. mainly the drive to work because it really relaxes my mind and prepares me for the day. although I listen to "after the storm" whenever I need a reminder about love.
overall score (out of 10): 10.


AMFs, tacos, and the renaissance

I kind of fell off the wagon last week. I stopped working out, ate A LOT, and was just overall lazy. I don't really know what came over me and at the end of the week I just had zero motivation.

then I hung out with friends friday night. taco night saturday (my favorite nights in the world!). and went to the ren fair on sunday. being able to let loose and have some fun has given me my motivation back. I'm really starting to realize the importance of balancing work time, fun time, and productive time. for a while there I was just being productive and even though it felt great, it became overwhelming.

so with my new motivation comes a list! (oh how I love lists.) things I want to accomplish this week.
  • workout after work every day
  • get doggie bed for outside
  • start to adapt pepper to being outside during the day
  • put paitings/pictures up
  • buy cute decorations for bathroom (target!)
  • do something different and out of my comfort zone this weekend

hopefully I can get my butt back into gear. I had enough lazy days. now back to working on my San Diego body!


when I grow up...

how I got from wanting to be a teacher to being a metallurgist.

as a kid, I remember wanting to be a teacher. I'm not really sure why, but so did my best friends at the time, so it seemed fitting.

when I was really young (and I mean really) I remember getting (or maybe my brother got it) this little magazine titled "WEATHER" in the mail. (I think it was a bonus issue for being a subscriber of "wild animals" or whatever that magazine was called.) I would look through that thing and study it until the pages fell apart. and then I still browsed through the lone pages. I remember matching the clouds in the sky to their names in the "cloud" section. I remember reading about tornadoes and cyclones. that was my favorite magazine and the start of my weather fascination. (I think I still have it somewhere too.)  so when I got into middle school, I wanted to be a meteorologist. not the kind that's on the news and is wrong 80% of the time, but the kind who studies storms and chases them. my mom always thought I was crazy since I have an intense fear of the wind, but that's what I wanted to do for a long time. I loved the weather.

when junior and senior year of high school came along and we were told by the career counselor that we needed to find a major to apply to college, I still had meteorology on my mind. I looked at colleges that offered a bachelor's in meteorology. to my disappointment, I only found a few, University of Florida being one of them. I had no desire to go to Florida. I wanted to stay instate. or at least a-days-worth-of-driving-back-home-state.

so how did I get from meteorology to chemical engineering? after realizing that you needed a masters to be a meteorologist, I returned back to the white board. I remember looking through this monstrous book (at the "recommendation" of our counselor) senior year. I don't remember how I came across chemical engineering, but I did and it made me think of making household products, like windex and pine-sol. I thought that sounded fun and always thought it would be cool to be a part of the process of manufacturing products every one uses every day.

so then, how did I get from chemical engineering to metallurgy? I still dreamed of making cooler and greener household products when sophomore summer of college came along and my boyfriend (chris, who just switched from civil engineering to mining engineering) was able to score an internship close to my parent's house. back then, the mining industry was a lot more laxed than it is now (or maybe it was just that company) so he told the HR rep:

"I'll work for you if you get my girlfriend an internship too."

I thoroughly enjoyed my internship and found the mining industry completely fascinating. the process of making copper was amazing. but I still wanted to try to get internships in the other chemical engineering fields: processing and oil. the next summer came along and I went to the job fairs and distributed my resumes to proctor and gamble and exxon and such and heard nothing. thing is: processing and oil are in an abundance of chemical engineers since the majority chem e's going into those fields. so these companies were a lot more strict with their applicants. not that I had poor grades or anything, but compared to my classmates who lived and breathed chemical engineering, I had no luck. mining, on the other hand, were ecstatic to have chemical engineers apply and paid little attention to grades. and then I realized that once I get in the mining industry, which I already was at that point, getting other internships was a breeze. I was able to score three internships out of the four summers I was in college which isn't common for my classmates (the first chris got for me, the other two I was able to get myself). then while the rest of my classmates were struggling to find jobs and eventually succumbing to grad school as graduation creeped up, I got a job as a metallurgist. (a metallurgist is like a chemical engineer but focuses more on metals, minerals and mining where as a chemical engineer is more broad. most of the classes coincide with each other.)

so that's how I got to where I am today. I had to remind myself because this week has been so hectic and frustrating it had me questioning why I chose this profession in the first place.

quote of the moment:
"a person can only eat an elephant one bite at a time. 
holding him down for the first leg is the hardest part."
-a coworker


panicking and a cherry on top

I seem to panic and stress at the silliest things - stuff people normally wouldn't even notice was happening. or stuff that people normally would find so insignificant they would just brush it off their shoulder. nope, not me. I freak over little things yet I'm surprisingly calm when it comes to big actual stressful situations (presentations, interviews, etc...)

for example, I hate, HATE, HATE driving without directions or a clear understanding of where I'm going. I will not go on the road without knowing where I'll end up. and if I do, I'll have my trusy GPS (Luvie) with me.

other things I panic about:
  • holding people up in a line (hence why I very seldom go to subway)
  • making any kind of phone call (I usually have to write myself a script)
  • conference calls (where it's harder to write a script)
  • being around or talking to my superintendent and/or manager (not that they're bad guys)
  • gas (I've only hit the empty line - not dying empty, but the empty line when the "low fuel" light comes on - twice)
  • hospitals

I think know my problem is that I tend to overthink everything. I go over every possible scenario and how I would handle them in my head before I do anything. and if I'm unsure of any possible scenarios, I will have a full fledge panic attack (not very often - maybe once or twice). maybe I have a controlling nature. I have to know what's going on at all times. I need to feel prepared. there's no way I can just "wing it." I practice presentations so many times that I memorize what I will say (which is why I usually don't get stressed over them). if only there was a way to stop my mind from thinking too much

on another note
 my lovely sister(in law) gave me the "cherry on top" award. *gasp*cheers*tear* pretty cool I think. my first ever award.
in order to accept the award you have to:
  • list 3 things you love about yourself
  • post a picture you love
  • pass on to 5 other blogs you just adore!
so my 3 things I ♥ about me:
  1. my personality. I can laugh about anything and get along with pretty much every one. I think I'm a burst of fresh air who makes things interesting. even if I do panic at times.
  2. that I can be a girly girl and still root for sports harder than some guys.
  3. that I can appreciate everyone and everything. from my coworkers who kindly answer my stupid questions to the lady who gives me my "free throw" book at the suns game when I head to my seat, I think everyone has good in them.
one of my favorite photos:
pepper (when she was still a pup) & ginger

5 blogs I ♥
  1. moms are for everyone - emery jo's stories of her relationship with her husband, with God, and her children always leaves you with a smile on your face when you're done reading (go congrat her on her adorable new baby boy!).
  2. she breathes deeply - mandy is so sweet and adorable it's hard not to love her blog (also go congrat her on her beautiful baby girl!).
  3. lullabies to terrorize - I've known amanda for quite some time from tucson and I enjoy her bluntness and refusal to candy coat anything.
  4. playing house- full time - I feel like I can really relate to autumn and her feelings on life and herself. I wish she lived closer so i can visit and chat over tea while watching her adorable girl.
  5. three birds - chelsea has an amazing ability to make every situation either drop dead hilarious or extremely heartwarming which always makes for an interesting read. (while you're there congratulate her on her baby on the way)