people always say that you can't love others until you love yourself. and I firmly believe that you can't love yourself until you learn to let go. letting go is one of the biggest things I struggle with. but when I do, I find more appreciation and accept myself easier. it's easier to find love within yourself when you can let the bad - or what you may consider bad - things go.
Chris and I have been together for six years - since I was 18. and sometimes when I think about things I did (or didn't do) when I was that age, I think I'm a horrible person. what kind of girlfriend makes her boyfriend leave his friend's wedding early? what kind of girlfriend blew little things out of proportion?
and that's exactly it, I did. those were things I did in the past. when I was young. when I was basically lost and didn't know who I was. do I do those same kind of things now? no (or at least I try really hard not to or not as often). before I can accept the person I am today and love her, I have to let go of the person I was. I cannot change the (what seems to be to me) awful things I did in the past - I can only ensure that I am putting the effort in every day to be better. I've let go of the person I was because I know I've grown into the awesome person I am today. I have no regrets - I know I wasn't perfect before, but everything happens for a reason. and those things made me into the person I am today.
I feel that once you are able to let go of the things you've done or the person you used to be, you can work on letting go of the hurtful things others have done to you that left you scarred. everything's a cycle - you can expect to let go of something someone did to you if you can't let go of things you did to people. just like you can't love others until you love yourself.
"Regrets and mistakes
they are memories made"
-Adele "Someone Like You"