the young and old

I work at a mine - for those of you who don't know. not only is the mining industry predominated by men, but it is also flooded with the older folks. these are all those "baby boomers" from back in the day. the big issue in the industry is that these "baby boomers" are getting ready to retire and there is this enormous gap that exists. that gap is the space between the experienced and the non-experienced. those who have worked in the industry for decades and those who just graduated college.

I never thought it was that big of a deal until my time here. here I am, a 22 year old college graduate, in meetings with people who are twice - if not three times - my age. I am pretty confident that I'm the youngest salary paid employee here. you may think that it would be a big deal - older folks thinking I don't know anything (which I pretty much don't) and me possibly trying to push people around. but that's not the case at all. I'm embracing the immense amount of knowledge my coworkers have. and (I think) they appreciate my young and fresh personality. and hopefully they'll appreciate my fresh ideas whenever I come up with some.

although sometimes I feel slightly out of place at work, at the same time I feel right at home. I get along with everyone pretty well and I've started getting used to giving people shit since they've been dishing it to me for quite some time now. and I think people are starting to understand me a bit more. everyone knows I'm the big suns fan. they know that if they wanna talk basketball they can come to my office. and they know that if they need a candy fix to come to my office. it's kinda nice to have people visit you in your office. especially when it's the place you spend more of your time. there's a couple of guys that are in their 20's that I think I can call my friends considering they stop by my office multiple times a day to chat/eat candy. and I have nothing but respect for those guys since they're the ones doing the actual work. I work with the numbers. they create the numbers. they fix things. they are the ones who are making the copper.

so in an environment where things can be awkward and uncomfortable, it is a pleasure to go to work (for the most part). just because there may be a huge age gap between you and your coworkers doesn't mean there will always be tension. it doesn't mean it's impossible to get anything done. but I think it's important for those who are the youngest at work to appreciate their coworkers. they've been there probably before you've even been born. they may not know the technical details of the process, but they have such a vast amount of knowledge. I think it's common for college students just beginning their career to enter the workplace and dismiss their coworker's ideas because they don't have a degree. and I don't agree with that. I think we should go to them for ideas. we should take the opportunity to learn from these people. so what if they don't have a degree? they've been able to be successful and have a steady career for a reason. learn from them rather than push changes without their ideas and opinions. embrace the fact that you are surrounded by older folks. it's not so bad after all.

awesome: this article. finally some recognition.
lame: this article. really mr. obama? are you really already assuming the lakers & celtics are going to be in the finals before game 4 has even begun? disappointing. very disappointing.


the smoke monster

I was listening to the radio this morning and the trivia "for the tired and braindead" of the day was that it is 100% likely you will get a divorce if one of you do this. what is this? smoke. according to whatever study, it is 100% likely you'll get a divorce if one of you are smokers. I was actually a little surprised. I didn't think that if you smoke and your partner doesn't, you're relationship is likely to fail. I mean, if you love someone for who they are, aren't you accepting all their traits and habits? I can't see someone saying "stop smoking or we're getting a divorce." trust me, I am not a fan of smoking, but really? I know when I was "dating" TJ, who smokes - a lot - I tried my best to encourage him to quit. I didn't like or really approve of what he was doing to his health but (at the time) I liked him and that was enough for me to stay with him (again, at the time). I don't think I would have broken up with him solely due to the fact that he smokes.

but then again, would I be able to live with someone who smokes for the rest of my life? I'm not sure if I would be able to handle watching someone I love slowly kill themselves (and greatly harm those around them) for a quick selfish pleasure. especially when I've dealt with the consequences of smoking very closely. during high school, my best friend tracy's father was diagnosed with cancer which was caused by his habit of smoking. he passed away our junior (or was it senior?) year of high school and watching the devastation it brought her nearly killed me. my tata was also a victim of a lung disease from his smoking and I'm convinced that the weakening it caused is the main factor in his passing. so I probably would never marry someone who smoked in the first place. I would do what I could to get the person to stop before we were to even get married just because of my own personal beliefs against smoking. I guess I can see getting a divorce if the person refused to quit since you most likely would not be able to handle having to watch them die. plus the harm it brings to you and your kids? no thank you.

but I still can't believe it's such a huge cause in divorce. so I googled it. and sure enough there have been studies that show the likelihood of getting divorced if one is a smoker. the most recent study that I saw was one from last year by the Australian National University. It was mainly about how divorces are more likely for those who are opposites, but it did say that marriages where one smoked (and the other didn't) were 75-90% more likely to end than marriages where both are non-smokers. (maybe I misheard the percentage on the radio?)

ouch. another reason to be smoke-free.

keeping a marriage. that's my anti-drug.

puppyies of the day

I know I accepted not getting a beagle puppy a while ago, but look at those faces! my mom and I completely fell in love with these guys last night. I saw them again and my heart melted again. damn you chris.


puppy obsessed

it's been a while. with the whole confusion around our house, the last thing I was looking for was a new puppy. of course, it wasn't off my mind and I still browsed a little bit, just not as much as before. I also gave up on my lifelong dream of naming my pets after elements off the periodic table. I didn't want ginger to feel out of place or left out. so we decided we'll name them spices. I know: genius.
puppyies of the day:
oh how my heart yearns for a white and brown/blue pit bull pup. I dream about it - that's how much it aches for one. something about their 2 tone colors makes my heart melt. I already emailed my interest about this one (don't tell chris) so we'll see. this little guy (or gal, not sure yet) reminds me of that very first puppy I fell in love with in the very beginning. except this one doesn't have a brown ear. pretty similar though huh? 

chris and I ventured to the mall this weekend to look at bedding and stuff for our soon-to-be-home. every time I go to the mall, I have to stop by the Animal Kingdom, also known as the puppy store. we saw this adorable little chocolate lab, like this one, and I fell in love with him. he was so cute and playful I want to go back and get him. I joked to chris that we could name him brown suga. but then again, that's not a spice.
how do you say no to little faces like that? and look at their cute little brown ears. awww. not to mention their love of basketball is a huge plus.

sometimes I wonder if I'm just puppy obsessed. or just my heart desires an addition to our "family" so greatly it's driving me crazy. it's better than a baby that we're definitely not ready for. what's the difference you ask? taking care of a puppy is like taking care of a child, true. but taking care of two kids is different than taking care of one big kid and a puppy. it's bad enough having to deal with chris's childish antics all the time, but two children? no way. a puppy is so different. yes they require lots of attention - attention I'm full of and willing to give - but it's just different. I don't think chris is ready to be a dad. and I'm definitely not ready to be a mom. so I'll just stick with puppy parents for now.


friday itchings

things I'm itching for on this fabulous friday:

taco salad
 I have an amazingly scrumptious bowl of taco salad in the fridge just waiting for me to enjoy it. what I love more than taco night is the left overs of taco night and being able to create taco salads for the next week or two. it's only 9:00 but my mouth is seriously salivating over the idea of being able to eat it. there's no way I'm going to be able to wait until 11:00 for it. no way.

keys to our house
in 3-4 days we will be closing in our house. in less than a week, we'll be moving in. I CAN'T WAIT!! I'm most excited about having all our furniture in it because that officially makes it our home. is it monday yet? geesh. who waits for monday to come?

suns win
the suns are so excited because they beat the lakers. no one has faith anymore. but I still do. I truly think they can pull it off. they have what it takes, they just gotta do it.


a place to call home

things finally turned out, well, for the most part. we got the house. (yay!!) but paid more than it's "worth." however, to us, it's worth a lot more. it's worth the fact that we're four miles from my parent's and have the ability to go by for dinner, take ginger swimming, enjoy suns games, etc within 5-10 minutes. we have a place that chris and I can grow as a couple and start our lives together. we have the option to start a family (if I can get over the idea of giving birth). it's worth being able to raise a family, if we choose to. and if we don't, it's worth raising our soon-to-be new puppy and ginger. it's worth being able to come home from a long day of work (and a long drive) and sit in comfortable furniture, put our feet up, and watch a good game or movie. we now have a place to hold parties and get-togethers. we can take days off and relax. it's definitely worth having a place to put our cloud supreme. we can do so much now, the possibilities are endless. this is our home. being able to say that in itself is worth it.

sure we could have probably found another, comparable home. but I didn't want to. we've already fallen in love with this home. for five months this has been our home. for five months we have been designing this home. it was custom built for us. no one else. it is our home.

it sure was a headache though. after arguing with cathy, we ended up setting up a meeting for the four of us: chris, me, cathy, and the builder. I was tired of relying on chris to pass all the information to me. and I was tired of feeling like I didn't know what was going on or feeling like I wasn't in control. I was frustrated with everything. the meeting didn't start well - cathy and dan (the builder) almost immediately began arguing and pointing fingers, blaming the other, and trying to make the other look like a liar. I couldn't believe it. we're all adults. they're professionals. why did I feel like I was on a non-cursing version of the maury show? I got so fed up I started crying and left. the idea of not having the house broke my heart. cathy and chris followed me outside and we talked about our options. and chris and I decided that the house was worth paying more to us. my tears also must've made dan feel bad because he came out and took $1,000 off (sure, it's not much, but hey). we ended up caving in and agreed to $157,000. $9,000 more than the appraisal, but $6,000 less than we originally agreed upon in the contract. and if you think about it (like I am) we'll still be able to get the $8,000 tax credit so we'll only really be paying $1,000 extra out of our pockets. not too bad.

but in the end, everyone's happy. and we're moving in next week. life is good again.

thank god.


hopes and dreams

I think I have a major problem. well, I have a lot of problems, but that's a different story. I think my major problem is that I get my hopes up too easily. it's always caused me issues. and now is no different.

I wrote yesterday that we were going to another broker to get another appraisal - turns out that's illegal. whoops. our realtor, who has been beyond amazing thus far, wanted us to be proactive and wanted to show us another house that may interest us. we got there and she informed us that she decided enough was enough and called and informed the builder that we were walking away.

wait, what? when did we say that? oh, that's right, we didn't. we were completely blind sighted. I didn't know what to think or feel. one minute I thought we were waiting for another appraisal and the next we're not getting the house at all - by our choosing. I didn't understand. I still don't understand. and I definitely didn't appreciate that cathy (our realtor) didn't talk to us about this decision first.

we went home. I cried and freaked out. I mean I thought this second appraisal was going to work. wrong. chris and I talked. he wants to offer more money. I don't think we should pay more than it's worth. but we both don't want to give up on the house. walking around the other house with cathy, I couldn't imagine myself falling in love with another house. I couldn't feel the flow of the house and my openness feeling we had with ours was gone. I hated it. I was mad. I know there's still other houses and we just looked at one, but when you spend five months falling in love with a house and making it your own, it's going to be hard to do it all over again. I didn't want to wait for another rebuild. but at the same time, the spec homes were subpar. they had shitty upgrades. no granite countertops? really? straight and not diagonal tile? we went through so much trouble to turn the tile 90 degrees. I felt like it's going to be inevitable that I was going to be extremely picky.

the other broker guy, tim, called chris and they talked for quite some time. he told him he was going to send the appraisal to a board for them to review and decide if it should be amended. then the builder himself called chris and they talked forever. he wants it to work and wants us to still do our final walk through today. he also told us that a house that's two houses down from ours appraised for $170 - and it's not even as nice as ours (trust me, I snooped through it many times). no one knows why our house appraised for so little. but I definitely do agree that it's worth more than $148. chris thinks we should still pay more. maybe we should? the appraisers may not think it's worth more, but to us it is. to us, it's already been our home for the past 5 months. to us, it's an absolutely beautiful home in the perfect location. to us, it's priceless.

we're doing our final walk through this afternoon and possibly meeting with the builder afterwards to negotiate. so here I am again, thinking that this will work. thinking, well, if we agree on a price today, we could still move in this week. dreaming about having ginger home and sleeping in our cloud supreme. hoping it's still ours. I've already got my hopes up again which means if things fall apart again, I'm going to be devastated, again. how much heartache and stress can I take? I'm so anxious to be done with work so I can see what's going to happen - so I can know what's going to happen.

got my fingers crossed. because that's really all I can do right now.



an old friend of mine posted on her facebook the other day "I don't believe in karma, bad things happen to good people and good things happened to bad people all the time." I've been thinking about it ever since. I did a little research into the topic. karma is simply the "law of moral causation" of buddhism (source). it's the cause and effect idea of life - just like from english class - the effect comes from the cause. from this website:

"We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate."

we all inherit certain genes and characteristics from our parents and ancestors, but our own actions - past & present - are what determines our lives - whether we're successful or not, whether we're rich or poor, happy or miserable, healthy or sick, etc. we are not compelled to a certain destiny - we have the ability to react in order to divert our fate.

but what about when things are out of our control? how do we react when there's simply nothing we can do? how do we avoid bad things from happening to us when certain situations are in the hands of another? I know the saying, "you get what you deserve," but sometimes a lot of times I feel like that's just not true. I have been a decent human being. I was a good student all through school - never did drugs, never betrayed anyone, never misbehaved. I try my best to do good deeds everyday, take other people's feelings into consideration, help those in need when I can, not be a bitch. I don't consider myself arrogant, selfish, egotistical, or snobby. I feel like I'm a good person who does good things. so why am I going through this head/heartache with the house? what did I do to deserve the stress of possibly not getting this house we've fallen in love with over 5 months ago? why am I not able to move into my first home this week? I have been looking forward to this week for months and now things aren't happening.

I understand that things don't always go as planned, but if the idea of karma is true, why can't I move into this house? I've done everything right - got a realtor, signed a contract, submitted paperwork, been to the house every day to catch mistakes early - why am I still waiting? the waiting and the fact of not knowing the outcome is putting so much stress on me it's making it difficult to stay healthy. and I know my problem is insignificant compared to other people's issues, but it makes me wonder if karma is really an idea I should be believing. bad things do happen to good people and good things do happen to bad people all the time.

the last appraisal from our broker came in friday still significantly lower than the price they're asking. and the builder refused to negotiate. he wants to do another appraisal through the in-house broker to see if it will come in higher. so we have to wait again, 3-9 days, for another appraisal to come in. we're not moving in this week. but the new broker guy is so confident that this new appraisal will come in closer to be negotiable, that he paid for the fees (plus the rushing fee) himself. so we'll see. I just want it to come in sooner than later so we can just move in already! we stopped by yesterday and the house is like a day from being complete - I think when we stop by this afternoon it will be done. fixes have been made, our balconies have been finished, carpet's installed, railing has been stained, and appliances have been placed. they just need to do our front yard landscaping and then it's done. it sucks to know it's going to be done this week and we won't be able to move in.

everything was coming together - I just don't know why it seems to be all falling apart.

p/s: go suns.


things I'm itching for right now

any of these puppies
I think after all the puppies that I've looked at for the past month or so, the ones that make my heart melt are the blue & white pits. I love the blue color & they're just soo precious! especially the one in the top right. or the bottom left. dang they're all cute!

I always get a pizza craving during my period (sorry if TMI) and this week is no exception. mmm. a nice, saucy, crispy pizza would be AH-MAZING.

it's bad enough that we still haven't heard anything about an adjusted appraisal for our house & whether or not we still get to buy it, but knowing how close it is to being done is driving me crazy. yesterday we saw that our carpet is in, which looks beautiful. we also checked it out at night to see how it looks with the lights which was pretty awesome also. basically all they have left is the front yard landscaping, installing our appliances, & touch-ups (from what I could tell). I just want to move in & put all our furniture in it & decorate it already! I feel so close, yet sooo far.

we wanted to buy a bigger bed so that ginger had more room and didn't have to push me off in the middle of the night. and because I need ultimate comfort when I sleep (ok, maybe not need, but desire) we got a tempurpedic bed. we got the cloud supreme (the new model in their commercials if you've seen it) because it had the perfect amount of what I call "plopability." what is plopability you ask? it's the ability to plop onto a bed after a long day of work. it's when you fall down onto a bed that you sink yet bounce slightly. I always told chris that the perfect bed, to me, is one where you feel like you're in a cloud - when the you sink into the bed & it envelopes you and surrounds you with a heavenly feeling. that's exactly what I found in the this bed (& how could I say no when it's called "cloud?") and I'm so anxious to get it so that I can sleep in it and get an amazing night's sleep. lately, being sick and crammed, I've been sleeping shitty so I just can't wait to see if this bed is the answer to all my problems.

oh lawrd please let the suns take out the lakers starting with a win in la on monday. oh please please please?

I just need a nap right now. I can barely keep my eyes open.



we still haven't heard anything about the house. cathy told chris they're hoping to find out what's going on in a few days. a few days?! a few days would be like the end of this week. our closing of escrow date is set for the 19th - next wednesday. our furniture - couches, entertainment center, beds, dressers - are all scheduled to be delivered on the 20th.  I'm really hoping to hear back from them sooner than later so that we can be ready to move. or not move. I'm so anxious about moving - I just want to be in my own home, sleeping in my wonderful cloud supreme. but right now I'm not even sure if it'll be our home. we already have everything ready. the delivery schedules. I took that thursday and friday off - my mom is supposed to take the friday off too to go shopping with me. but it's all going to be pointless if we can't even move in. frustrating. very frustrating.

I'm also becoming more and more anxious to get a new puppy. another reason I want to be moved into our house, because the sooner we get settled in there, the sooner I get my doggie. Here's my pick for the puppy(ies) of the day:
pit pups
I think both of these are adorable (out of the 8 available). I'm not sure if I can choose one. I just can't wait to have a little doggie running around the house and getting to play in our (relatively) huge backyard with ginger - hearing ginger go through the dog door followed by a little one - having two doggies to cuddle with in bed - watching them play tug-o-war and such. it'll be sooo cute! I think I'm going to go insane if we don't hear anything from them by the end of the day.

awesome: ritz crackers.
lame: nyquil - pill or liquid form.


house? or no house?

with only about a week and a half left before we can close and move in, our house was appraised last week. and it was appraised for significantly less. I'm not a realtor or a broker nor do I really understand everything when it comes to buying a house. what I understand is you want a house, you get a loan based on how much you make, you make a down payment for the house, you move into the house. so when I'm told that the house that we've been waiting for 5 months has been appraised for much less than what we're about to pay for it, I'm not really sure what that means. cathy, our realtor, says she's never seen something like this where the house is appraised for significantly less than the asking price. which isn't comforting.

so I'm not really sure what's going on right now. I guess they (our realtors and broker) got some "comps" or proof that what they're asking for isn't unreasonable. I guess the development is closing on a house more than ours is. don't ask me what that means. but I guess they sent that stuff to the appraisers and hopefully the appraisal will go up closer to what the builder is asking for? if it doesn't, I'm not sure if that means we have to negotiate or what.

I do know that cathy told us to be "proactive" and find some other houses that we like. which means we may or may not get the house we've been falling in love with for 5 months now - the house that we spent time at every day to watch it progress - the house that we put our heart and soul into designing (what we could at least) and picking furniture - the house that we added custom touches (speaker wire throughout, ginger's door, etc) to make it ours - that house. we are not sure if we are getting our house. when I found this out on saturday, I was heartbroken. I couldn't believe it. a week and a half before we're supposed to move in, we're not sure if we'll get it. and now I have to look at other houses and find one that's comparable? and on top of that, if we opt out of the contract we have now, we'll lose our $8,000 home buyers tax credit.

like I said, I'm not completely sure what's going on. all I know is we're supposed to hopefully hear back from the appraisers today to see what the adjusted appraisal for our house is. and then I don't know where we go from there. I just hope it's all sorted out in the next week the latest. the sooner the better though, because all this stress is killing me. like seriously, by body cannot handle this stress (combined with stress from work) and if I don't become stress-free soon, I'm never gonna get rid of this bug.

as an update for operation: get new, young, well-trained dog, I thought that idea was crushed too when chris was being a turd last week. my parents and I were looking at puppies at shelters near our area (don't as me why) and I'd ask chris what he thought about a couple and he would be short and rude. then he got mad saying that he already told me that we can't have a dog right now and then I got mad since I told him I wasn't looking for it right now but within a couple of months of us moving in to our house. but since then he seems he's wanting a new dog soon since I caught him looking at puppies the other day. he told me he wanted to get one within a couple of weeks of moving. *squeeeaaaal* now I'm just hoping we'll have a house to move into.

awesome: kings of leon "closer"
lame: being sick for over a week


you know you're looking at a winna, winna, winna



oh boy did I win my bet.

mama I love you

my mother is my best friend.

  • she puts a smile on my face when I'm angry.
  • she makes me feel better when I'm sick. 
  • she knows what I'm thinking before I say it
  • she helps me realize life is wonderful.
  • she accepts my craziness.
  • she wipes away my tears.
  • she yells during suns games.
  • she is an amazing cook.
  • she knows all the right things to say when I'm down.
  • she is the glue to our family.
  • she lets me be myself.
  • she always remembers to call.
  • she loves to laugh.
  • she is my best friend.
  • she cares for her friends.
  • she accepts chris.
  • she puts family first.
  • she appreciates everything we do.
  • she knows how to have fun.
  • she loves her wine (not in a crazy alcoholic way).
  • she forgives people who don't deserve it.
  • she makes me feel comfortable when I'm scared.
  • she has crazy sisters.
  • she's the best euchre partner.
  • she raised me to be independent and strong.
  • she loves her kids more than anything in the world.
  • she is a talented painter and doesn't even know it.
  • she is someone I can always talk to about everything.
  • she reminds me of those things that slipped my mind.
  • she is beyond amazing all around.
I love her and can't imagine my life without her.
she is truly the best mom in the world and I'm so lucky to have her as mine.

happy mother's day, mommy.



annoyance of the day: people who can't move on

I know I've written a couple of entries about a certain individual, but I want to make it clear that I am completely over this certain individual. I've mentioned how sometimes I think about our fun times, and I do, but the horrible times override the "fun times" and therefore I'm quickly reminded how happy and how great my life is now. it's just lame when I go through weeks of not speaking to this person and I'm in a good mood all the time and not being made to feel like crap and then all the sudden, out of the blue, he drops me a message/text. the message I happened to receive last night:

"so your re-engaged huh?"

a mere 21 minutes later:

"hey, sorry, stupid question. Congrats."

I'm glad it only took you 21 minutes to realize your stupidity rather than 21 hours later like before. but seriously - how did you manage to find that out? it's not made public on my myspace page. my facebook is set to private unless you're my friend. only solution is you borderline stalked me to come across this blog to determine this fact. you'd be doing yourself a favor if you just stop doing shit like that. you don't need to see the update of my life. it's none of your business.

and to rid of any thoughts you have - chris is amazing. he cares about me. he has his faults but he doesn't push that onto other people. he takes responsibility and mans up to his actions. he doesn't start drama or purposely try to stir up issues. he doesn't dwell on the past. and he doesn't play the blame game constantly. he makes me laugh and I feel 100% comfortable around him. we have a lot in common and at the same time we are ok with each other doing their own thing every once in a while. we don't have to be attached to the hip. and he understands that my family is the most important thing to me and that they're my best friends. he doesn't get mad if I have a late night with my cousin or if I had a long day at work and need a nap. he's understanding. and he is my fiance. and I wouldn't want it any other way.

so please do yourself a favor and leave me alone. every time we try to talk and be friends you just end up bringing up old shit and making me mad. or you'll act like you know something that you don't (remember saying the suns won't make it to the playoffs? you clearly don't know shit about basketball hun) and that frustrates me even more. I've moved on and things are great. and I know you have to - new job, new place, yada yada. so stop trying to dwell on our past. it's seriously not healthy. and life would be much more enjoyable.

I am sorry shit went down the way it did. but shit happens.

on another note: puppies of the day
they're all so adorable I can't pick one.

awesome: edamame. mmm.
lame: la lakers.

so far, so good




annoyance of the day: stress

today sucks. here's why:
  1. I have to start presenting the process data during our daily morning meeting. I have to know where all the numbers come from & if there's any variance, why. presenting the numbers doesn't terrify me that much - it's the explaining if something's wrong. I feel like I don't really know the process & all the details that much yet and fear the moment when someone asks me a question I don't know the answer to (although I should) and everyone realizes how dumb I really am. no pressure.
  2. WARNING: possible TMI moment - skip to number 3 if you want to avoid TMI. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. not too big of a deal, except it's a pap smear appointment. my first one ever. not looking forward to it too much. although I am thankful I get to finally get one (thank you company paid insurance!) I'm a little terrified of what they'll find. nothing serious, I just know that I have a reoccurring pain-in-the-ass (not literally) aka yeast infections. I mean I have them a lot. I've been taking this stuff called azo which helps treat & prevent and it works really well if I take it every day. I just hope she doesn't look in there and tell me it's a different problem.
  3. the suns game is tonight - game 1 against the spurs. ugh. if we lose I know I'll pay for it at work tomorrow. so I'm really hoping we'll win. if we win, not only do we win, but it'll also increase my confidence in winning the whole series. at least the hydromet manager (my boss's boss's boss), troy, is on my side. he bet with mark that if the suns win, mark has to wear a suns hat for a month & if the spurs win then troy will wear a spurs hat. so to clarify - if the suns win, mark has to wear a suns hat and a suns jersey. priceless. I just hope we win this first game, then I'll have more faith.
that's really it, but it sure is bringing a lot of stress to me. I can't wait until today's over.

to make things better: puppy of the day:
2-3 month old shepard/lab mix? how
can you say no to that face?!
16 days until we get to move into our own house!

awesome: the rocket summer's new cd.
lame: being uber tired at work


the carnival's in town!

I spent some more time with the dearest baby lorelai this weekend. she's amazing I love her so freakin' much. every time I spend time with her it makes me want to have a little baby that much more. I've been worried about having kids with chris for a while now - I'm not sure how he'd be as a father. sometimes, I'm convinced that he hates kids - every time we're in the mall or at a restaurant & there's an annoying kid around he seems frustrated. I mean I'm not a fan of annoying, screaming, obnoxious kids either, but what id that's just what you get? what if the kid is just having a bad day? there's only so much you can prevent or work with. and I just hope chris can just handle that.

for the first time in our relationship, though, I looked at chris & smiled because I couldn't wait to have kids with him - I knew he was gonna be a great dad. we were driving home from work & we passed by my old elementary school - desert vista elementary school. there were a shitload of cars parked in the parking lot and along the street so I was wondering what the hell was going on. I read their little bulletin board/sign thing that the little carnival thing they have every year was there. I was excited because I remember going around as a kid playing the games and hanging with my friends. chris said, "well that's good for you" knowing my excitement so I asked him if he would wanna go to the carnival or anything and he said "of course!" I saw & he told me how excited he would be to take his kids around to play games and shiz. and that's when I looked at him, smiled, & thought that he'd be a great father.

I can't wait.

puppy of the day
he's a 2 month old pit/mix. ADORABLE!

awesome: free facials!
lame: laundry.