Living Well: Letting Go

I have some free time at work today, so I figured I'd jot some thoughts down.

people always say that you can't love others until you love yourself. and I firmly believe that you can't love yourself until you learn to let go. letting go is one of the biggest things I struggle with. but when I do, I find more appreciation and accept myself easier. it's easier to find love within yourself when you can let the bad - or what you may consider bad - things go.

Chris and I have been together for six years - since I was 18. and sometimes when I think about things I did (or didn't do) when I was that age, I think I'm a horrible person. what kind of girlfriend makes her boyfriend leave his friend's wedding early? what kind of girlfriend blew little things out of proportion?

I did.

and that's exactly it, I did. those were things I did in the past. when I was young. when I was basically lost and didn't know who I was. do I do those same kind of things now? no (or at least I try really hard not to or not as often). before I can accept the person I am today and love her, I have to let go of the person I was. I cannot change the (what seems to be to me) awful things I did in the past - I can only ensure that I am putting the effort in every day to be better. I've let go of the person I was because I know I've grown into the awesome person I am today. I have no regrets - I know I wasn't perfect before, but everything happens for a reason. and those things made me into the person I am today.

I feel that once you are able to let go of the things you've done or the person you used to be, you can work on letting go of the hurtful things others have done to you that left you scarred. everything's a cycle - you can expect to let go of something someone did to you if you can't let go of things you did to people. just like you can't love others until you love yourself.

quote lyric of the moment:
"Regrets and mistakes
they are memories made"
-Adele "Someone Like You"


quick update

it's difficult to keep up with a blog when you work full time, an avid sports fanatic, planning a wedding, or a loyal family member. unfortunately I'm (d) all of the above. if I'm not exhausted from working all day I'm watching football. if there's no football on, I'm trying to gather things for a wedding. if I'm not planning a wedding, I have dinner plans or something planned with my parents. so time for me to sit down for a good period of time to write out an interesting blog with substance is limited. and finishing half written posts I've written is even more difficult. ahh!

so, since I'm short on time here's a quick list of the most exciting and/or important things that happened in my life since my last post (September 2nd).

  1. Chris and I finally decided to take the leap and get married and had my lovely SIL take some pictures of us for save the dates.
  2. doctors did some testing on Chris to see if something could be done with his epilepsy (he'll be going back soon for more to determine if he could do surgery or some other alternative to stop his seizures).
  3. booked a venue & picked a date for our upcoming wedding!
  4. went camping with the fam and we determined that Ginger and my parent's dog, Cheyenne, will never be friends again.
  5. thought I was going to lose my job or my mind from all the forecasting I was sucking at.
  6. almost lost the date & venue we picked due to a double-booking issue (luckily we booked first!)
  7. sent out our save the dates (no turning back now).
also, if you're a photographer or photography lover and can't leave your camera at home you should head over to Danielle's blog at Sometimes Sweet. she's hosting a wonderful giveaway for these gorgeous and amazing camera bags. I'm hoping to snag one for the before mentioned lovely SIL to give her an adorable bag to safely hold her camera while she's out and about. so go on over & check it out!


how time flies

if I were to go back to August 28th, 2005, I never would have have guessed how my life would have turned out. I just moved away from home to a new city and was about to start my college career. I was so not confident about anything. I was very dependent on others and didn't even have my driver's license. I had no idea what journey I was about to embark on nor did I know where I was going to end up. I was just going with the flow.

I remember going to Outback that night, wanting to die. (I just hiked all day and had a horrible cold on top of it.) never would I have thought I would meet this person who would change my life forever.

first date at Outback. (2005)
I remember the main thing I found attractive about this person (besides his curls that he claims he never had looked curly to me) was his sense of humor. and how easy it was for him to win over my dad. (hell, my dad was the one who asked him to date me!) although it was a very awkward night for someone as insecure as I was, we exchanged numbers and about a week later he gave me a call and we've been by each other's side ever since.
one year anniversary. (2006)
I encouraged him to go back to school while I was starting my first semester of Chemical Engineering at U of A. He started out in Civil Engineering but soon switched over to Mining Engineering and that's when we embarked on our careers together. he "helped" me land my first internship as a sophomore in an industry I never even considered working in. but I haven't turned back and don't know anything else.
me & chris & a tire.
our first internship together. (2007)
we fought, I cried, we made up, and we struggled. I had nothing but doubts for a long time but was too scared to leave, even though my friends kept telling me to. and even though I felt alone in the relationship, he was my rock. not to mention he was basically my tutor. but something told me keep trying. because I saw the person he was on the inside...deep inside. and I liked that person. a lot.
hiking in Elko, NV. (2008)
I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for him. I may not have even graduated college. I definitely wouldn't be working in the industry I am now. and I'm thankful he has been there to get me to where I am today.
Alicia and Chris before the ceremony
at my college graduation. (2009)
Chris is my best friend. no one is as accepting of me and my quirky and sometimes childish ways as he is. no one supports me the way he does. no one helps me grow into more of an adult every day by challenging me and guiding me.
at a suns game. (2010)
and six years later, here we are. six years of heartache. six years of laughter. six years of struggles. six years of understanding. six years of love.

it's amazing how long we've been together. it used to scare the hell out of me, but now I'm looking forward to the time we'll have together for the rest of our lives. we have grown so much together and are finally getting in our own groove. we're finally starting to understand each other and express ourselves in a way that helps us grow rather than destroy us.
date night in Durango, CO. (2011)
when I really think about everything we've been through I stop doubting and start realizing this is real. 

we may have our problems and he may not be the best communicator and I may be too emotional, but we're pretty damn great together. even though it was last Sunday, happy anniversary babe.


LSNT: August 23rd!

ahhh! I don't want August to be over. after August will come September and then the cold. eewww...

I still have to post pictures of Chris and mine's trip to Durango, CO - it was so beautiful there. perfect weather and amazingly green. but I've just been so busy and then this weekend I'm going to San Diego with my girls!! it's so nice to have a job so I can go on vacations and stuff. love my life.

anyways, I wanted to get this up before Tuesday ended. :)

If you had $1000 to spend right now on a single thing, what would it be?
so buying $1,000 worth of cds is not acceptable? dang. well the, honestly, there's not a single thing I'm really itching for right now. so I'd probably pay off my credit cards. ha. I'm such a responsible nerd.

Which one of your pets is your favorite?
shhhh, don't tell Ginger, but it's definitely Pepper. you form a different relationship with a pet that you've raised since a puppy versus one you get in the middle of their life. especially one you get so close to because she's dying and you have to give her all your love & attention to keep her alive. she's my little baby. but I do love Ginger lots & would be absolutely heartbroken if we lost her.

Did you ever own a waterbed?
no, but I remember my Tia TK owning one when I was younger and always thinking it was THE coolest thing ever.

What is your favorite color gummy bear?
red and clear. yum.

Do you have any favorite shows that are coming back on soon?
Grey's Anatomy (I'm hoping it'll be better than last season), GLEE!! (sooo stoked to see the winner of The Glee Project on it!), Dancing with the Stars, and Castle. <3

Do you have any great bloggy friends?
I don't think I've made myself known enough in the blogging world to have "bloggy" friends. :(

It's not too late to join in! (at least not here in AZ...)


i heart fashion: nail color of the month: August

I know August is almost over, but I've been too busy to actually be able to post my August pick of the month. August is one of my favorite months. Not only is my birthday during August, but August was always the best time for the pool. When I was younger, I was always in my parents' pool. When I got into high school my tolerance level for cold water greatly diminished and pool time required warmer waters. and August always seemed to be the warmest months. I remember trying to get our swim on most in August, watching the monsoon storms come over the Superstition Mountains. 

August to me is all about fun. It's the last few weeks of freedom and being free before school starts. It's when you take the road trip to the beach. It's the month of shopping for that new wardrobe and getting a new look. 

so my August nail color pick is something bright and summery.

please ignore my bony hands

Essie's Peach Daiquiri
I'm not much of a fan of pink and especially hot pink, so I was a little hesitant when I bought this color. but once I swipped it on my nails, I immediately fell in love. I feel like it's more of a cross between a hot pink and a bright reddish-orange color. and to me, it just screams summer days at the beach/by the pool.

How do you feel about my August pick?


i heart fashion: lovely looks: Urban Outfitters Summer Sale

Madeline over at Über Chic shared with her readers that Urban Outfitters is having a summer sale. I'm usually not a big UO fan, but I figured I mosey on over to see what they have. Turns out they have some pretty adorable stuff for good prices & they still have plenty of different sizes! Below are some of my favorite looks.

1: byCORPUS Button Trim Dress ($59.99 $19.99)

Make sure you have plenty of time to go through all their sale items because there is TONS of it!


LSNT: August 9th.

Ahhh! It's Tuesday! I am soo stoked for Thursday! Chris & I are packing our bags and taking a road trip to Durango, CO to stay at a cute B&B & ride the Durango-Silverton train! Assuming it's still running that is (I heard there was a recent mudslide that stopped the trains). I'm really looking forward to taking a few days off work to completely relax and bond with Chris. We've been getting along pretty well lately. It truly makes life so much easier when you're getting along with your significant other. I hate stress.

Anyways, on to Learn Something New Tuesday for this week!

1. Christmas is a little over four months away! Do you think the year 2011 went by too quickly?????
yes and no. there's times where I feel like it was just January and then there's times were January seemed so far away.

2. Schools are starting back up! What was your favorite subject?
other than band, it would definitely be chemistry. or math. I really enjoyed math until I got to college. then again I only enjoy chemistry and band in high school too. my favorite subject in college would be this crime class I took.

3. Would you ever consider plastic surgery?
I think the only thing that I get insecure about these days (other than my "fat," but I know I can exercise & eat right to get rid of that) is my nose. I have what we call the "Ramirez bump" (or what I call anyways) which is this awkward bump on the bridge of my nose.

4. How many months is it until your birthday?
12 since my birthday just passed on Sunday!! (wooohooo!)

5. Do you know exactly what you want to do with your life?
for the most part. I know I want to stay in the mine industry. I know I want a family. and I know I want to stay close to my family.

6.Would you be willing to be examined for medical research?
depends on the research and if I'm still alive. If I'm dead then of course! but if I'm alive, I think I would be a little more picky.

Don't forget to head over to "What Would Jen Do?" and join in!