seriously done

your words will no longer force a tear
       I deserve better than that.
your struggles can not bring me more stress
       my support and love will never fade.
your lack of focus will not control my life
       we will get through this.

I will climb out.
I will break through the darkness.
and I will be me again.

just a sloppy poem I threw together (I haven't truly written for a good 5 years). but basically I'm turning over my new leaf today. I am motivated. I will keep myself busy doing fun things (DIY crafts!). I'm done feeling sorry for myself and feeling like my life is so horrible. there are families who can't afford a meal for days. sure my life's got it shitty situations and moments, but I am strong enough to take everything as a lesson and grow from it. there's no reason for me to be depressed. there's no reason for me not to be happy.

a lot of shit's been thrown in my face the past few weeks that I wanted to take the easy way out. I didn't want to deal with anything anymore. I was exhausted. but I'm over that. everything that happens in life is a challenge and a lesson to learn. and I should embrace it all. even if it does blow. nothing should be able to control my destiny. only I can control my destiny. only I can choose to be happy or depressed.

reasons to be happy right now:

1. got my hair done last week & I'm still oohing & ahhing over it.
2. I'm almost done with my jewelry organizer project. can't wait to show it off!
3. getting awesome office furniture tomorrow. now I can finally organize endless piles of papers and shit and decorate the office (yay suns room!)
4. chris & I get to go to our first suns game of the [pre]season!!! 
5. getting to spend endless amounts of time with the fam.
6. pepper's still growing & is more awesome every day!
7. things are good and will continue to get better with chris & mine's relationship.
8. basketball season starts in a week!!!
9. I'm going to eat lunch now. yum