an old friend of mine posted on her facebook the other day "I don't believe in karma, bad things happen to good people and good things happened to bad people all the time." I've been thinking about it ever since. I did a little research into the topic. karma is simply the "law of moral causation" of buddhism (source). it's the cause and effect idea of life - just like from english class - the effect comes from the cause. from this website:

"We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate."

we all inherit certain genes and characteristics from our parents and ancestors, but our own actions - past & present - are what determines our lives - whether we're successful or not, whether we're rich or poor, happy or miserable, healthy or sick, etc. we are not compelled to a certain destiny - we have the ability to react in order to divert our fate.

but what about when things are out of our control? how do we react when there's simply nothing we can do? how do we avoid bad things from happening to us when certain situations are in the hands of another? I know the saying, "you get what you deserve," but sometimes a lot of times I feel like that's just not true. I have been a decent human being. I was a good student all through school - never did drugs, never betrayed anyone, never misbehaved. I try my best to do good deeds everyday, take other people's feelings into consideration, help those in need when I can, not be a bitch. I don't consider myself arrogant, selfish, egotistical, or snobby. I feel like I'm a good person who does good things. so why am I going through this head/heartache with the house? what did I do to deserve the stress of possibly not getting this house we've fallen in love with over 5 months ago? why am I not able to move into my first home this week? I have been looking forward to this week for months and now things aren't happening.

I understand that things don't always go as planned, but if the idea of karma is true, why can't I move into this house? I've done everything right - got a realtor, signed a contract, submitted paperwork, been to the house every day to catch mistakes early - why am I still waiting? the waiting and the fact of not knowing the outcome is putting so much stress on me it's making it difficult to stay healthy. and I know my problem is insignificant compared to other people's issues, but it makes me wonder if karma is really an idea I should be believing. bad things do happen to good people and good things do happen to bad people all the time.

the last appraisal from our broker came in friday still significantly lower than the price they're asking. and the builder refused to negotiate. he wants to do another appraisal through the in-house broker to see if it will come in higher. so we have to wait again, 3-9 days, for another appraisal to come in. we're not moving in this week. but the new broker guy is so confident that this new appraisal will come in closer to be negotiable, that he paid for the fees (plus the rushing fee) himself. so we'll see. I just want it to come in sooner than later so we can just move in already! we stopped by yesterday and the house is like a day from being complete - I think when we stop by this afternoon it will be done. fixes have been made, our balconies have been finished, carpet's installed, railing has been stained, and appliances have been placed. they just need to do our front yard landscaping and then it's done. it sucks to know it's going to be done this week and we won't be able to move in.

everything was coming together - I just don't know why it seems to be all falling apart.

p/s: go suns.

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thanks for taking the time to add some input and love :)