5.25.2010

the smoke monster

I was listening to the radio this morning and the trivia "for the tired and braindead" of the day was that it is 100% likely you will get a divorce if one of you do this. what is this? smoke. according to whatever study, it is 100% likely you'll get a divorce if one of you are smokers. I was actually a little surprised. I didn't think that if you smoke and your partner doesn't, you're relationship is likely to fail. I mean, if you love someone for who they are, aren't you accepting all their traits and habits? I can't see someone saying "stop smoking or we're getting a divorce." trust me, I am not a fan of smoking, but really? I know when I was "dating" TJ, who smokes - a lot - I tried my best to encourage him to quit. I didn't like or really approve of what he was doing to his health but (at the time) I liked him and that was enough for me to stay with him (again, at the time). I don't think I would have broken up with him solely due to the fact that he smokes.

but then again, would I be able to live with someone who smokes for the rest of my life? I'm not sure if I would be able to handle watching someone I love slowly kill themselves (and greatly harm those around them) for a quick selfish pleasure. especially when I've dealt with the consequences of smoking very closely. during high school, my best friend tracy's father was diagnosed with cancer which was caused by his habit of smoking. he passed away our junior (or was it senior?) year of high school and watching the devastation it brought her nearly killed me. my tata was also a victim of a lung disease from his smoking and I'm convinced that the weakening it caused is the main factor in his passing. so I probably would never marry someone who smoked in the first place. I would do what I could to get the person to stop before we were to even get married just because of my own personal beliefs against smoking. I guess I can see getting a divorce if the person refused to quit since you most likely would not be able to handle having to watch them die. plus the harm it brings to you and your kids? no thank you.

but I still can't believe it's such a huge cause in divorce. so I googled it. and sure enough there have been studies that show the likelihood of getting divorced if one is a smoker. the most recent study that I saw was one from last year by the Australian National University. It was mainly about how divorces are more likely for those who are opposites, but it did say that marriages where one smoked (and the other didn't) were 75-90% more likely to end than marriages where both are non-smokers. (maybe I misheard the percentage on the radio?)

ouch. another reason to be smoke-free.

keeping a marriage. that's my anti-drug.

puppyies of the day

I know I accepted not getting a beagle puppy a while ago, but look at those faces! my mom and I completely fell in love with these guys last night. I saw them again and my heart melted again. damn you chris.

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thanks for taking the time to add some input and love :)