you are not alone

today, in the middle of our morning meeting, calvin (the sx senior supervisor and an overall joyful individual) received a call from his wife informing him that her sister (his sister-in-law) has passed away. of course, we all felt sympathy as he immediately left, but I found myself near tears. I remember when we got the call that my tata passed. we were having our christmas dinner with my grandma and grandpa and my aunts, uncle, and cousins came from colorado and ohio (on my dad's side) that chrismas. we were all sitting outside around a canopy, it was night, and my mom was with my tata and her sisters taking care of him. my dad got the call and told us the news while were sitting in the circle. I immediately left to ball my eyes out, and reuben quickly followed (scotty, I believe, was with megan's parents'). not only was it the time that I lost my tata (rip), but it was also a time where I was surrounded by people that just didn't understand. sure they may have felt sympathy for me, but they had no clue the pain my brothers and I were suffering from. I remember having to leave during an important time to go to my mom, who was suffering the most. it was a time when the other side of my family was in town - the side that I hardly saw or spent time with. same with calvin - he had to leave during an important time - when he is a main resource for the ongoing shutdown (everyone went to him with questions).

other than the fact that I lost my tata, what hurt me the most was that their lives went on. they didn't have to mourn. they could continue enjoying the company and laugh and tell stories. they didn't have to feel the pain that would haunt them for years to come. to them, nothing even happened. they didn't understand the wonderful man my tata was. they didn't understand the inspiration and admiration I felt for him. they didn't understand the amazing individual that the world was now without. they just didn't understand. it wasn't their faults, of course. it's unfortunate that they never really knew the amazing talents and stories of my tata. but life went on for the rest of them, because it was christmas and their christmas shouldn't be put on hold due to someone they didn't even know.

and that's probably how calvin felt about his sister-in-law. because once everyone recovered from the shock of her death (it's a small town, so everyone knows each other), we went on with our lives. a five day shutdown was going on that needed everyone's complete attention and focus in order to get the job done safely and right. because for everyone else, the show must go on.

on another note: pepper's still doing well. the vet yesterday gave us permission to feed her up to 3/4 of a can of food a day. and the reason she's so skinny is because the food they gave us has no fat in it and therefore, she will not grow as long as she's being treated. good for me, since she'll basically stay a puppy longer, but sad for her since she's starving. but only a couple more weeks and she'll be back to her delicious, fattening food.

ginger also got a checkup and vaccinated. she's in good health other than her slight obesity problem. healthy puppies, here we come!

1 comment:

  1. Although your cousins didn't know your Tata, believe me, they felt your pain. They lost their grandpa Kurt (Gary's dad) the year before and they were all very close.
    The simple fact is that death is a part of life. Everyone will die. While that realization doesn't lessen the pain of the loss of a loved one, it's important to remember that death is to be expected. More importantly, remember that your Tata lives on through you (and others) in the memories that you keep and the stories of him that you share.


thanks for taking the time to add some input and love :)