losing my religion

yesterday, I discussed my hopes for the well-being of my dear sick puppy, pepper. I said that even though I wasn't religious, I was praying she'd get better. and I claimed that if she were to get through this, I would greatly reconsider my religious beliefs. well, she's not 100% better yet, and I by no means want to jinx it, but things are looking good. she may have already beaten parvo and now just needs to beat this easily treatable disease. so chances are looking fantastic.

so does that mean I'll be going to church on sunday? am I going to convert myself and read the bible on a nightly basis? probably not. actually that's a no. I'm not saying I'm going against my word. I just think that religion and beliefs shouldn't be a do this do that sort of thing. if you believe, you believe. you follow the lessons and ideas of the religion but if you stray you're not going to be damned. if there is a god, I feel like he'd be happy and content if you just follow his lessons and whatnot. you shouldn't have to give up your life for him. you shouldn't have to feel like you're always walking on eggshells not to go against the bible.

or maybe my god is just more accepting of people. he understands everyone's human and is ok with that. as long as you aren't selfish and you are willing to help those in need, I think he'll be happy. just as long as you accept he exist and are willing to look to him for guidance. that's what I think at least. maybe I'm wrong. but I don't like being told what to believe and what will happen to me if I don't. I don't like how religion is shoved down my throat. I believe a lot of christian beliefs, but I also agree with buddist beliefs and some catholic ideas.

but I think the main jist of all religion is be good to life and others around you, and good things will happen to you. and when life throws serious shit your way, it's ok to look to an outside force or power for guidance.

maybe I won't go to church, but maybe this god fellow is the real deal. maybe he's there to help you grow and learn to be a decent human being. those who accept his challenges are successful in life and those who refuse his "help" aren't so lucky. life is tough. but the idea of him is that if you believe, you'll get through it.

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thanks for taking the time to add some input and love :)