I should not be feeling like this. I should not be thinking the things I have. I am ashamed. I am disgusted. Life isn't perfect, but there's nothing wrong with it either (for the most part, minus the sick puppy). I shouldn't be wondering. I shouldn't be hoping. I've been there. done that. and it just caused me more trouble. I've grown. so why do I feel like I'm back at square one? why do I feel like I've made no progress. why is it that the thoughts keep me up at night? they shouldn't be here.
maybe it's me. maybe I ask for it. I ask for trouble. and I get it. should I really be surprised?