believe in me

I haven't written in a while because life has given me a couple of challenges to overcome within the past few weeks. I won't go into details, but I've been forced to take a closer look at my values and morals and beliefs. I've had to chose when the right time to put my foot down is when it comes to what I believe in. And I've had to find the energy to move on.

We had a thief going through our offices. Someone who was stealing money. And we had an idea who it was. The supervisors and I got what most people would think is enough evidence against the individual and turned it into HR. Our HR reps then conducted an "investigation." It was at this time, that I realized for the first time in my life, that HR does not fight for their employees. Instead, they fight for the company.

I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, "well, yeah, duh." but I had more trust in the company that I worked for. And especially for the people that work down the hall from me. They didn't even bother fighting for us. They just gave in. Brought the thief back to work. No penalty. Nothing.

I was angry. I was upset. I was disgusted. How can I work for a company that feels comfortable bringing a thief back into the workforce? How can they think it's right to force everyone else to take extra precautions and lock up their lunches & offices because of one individual that we know is guilty of stealing? What kind of morals do these people have?

I had a lot of thinking to do during the past couple of weeks. A lot of deep thinking - the exhausting kind. The kind that drains you emotionly and tears you apart. I couldn't believe what was happening. I put trust in others and it comes back to bite me in the ass. What did I ever do wrong?

I found myself questioning my morals and values. I even contemplated quitting my job. I thought that maybe me quitting, or threatening to quit, would make them realize what they were doing was wrong. They were bringing back a thief. We had proof. I don't want to work for a company that doesn't fight for their employees.

If you watch the Glee Project like I do, then you should know this week Cameron (my fave!) didn't get kicked off, but rather chose to leave. WHY?! he was so talented and relatable and adorable! but he didn't feel like he could put his beliefs aside and act character that is "sexable." I'm sure there's other reasons, but this was the jist of the episode.

It got me thinking back to my situation though. Should I quit my job because they didn't have the same beliefs I did? I asked myself, if I were Cameron would I have quit because I was told to kiss someone? and I was easily able to answer no. Because a job is a job. you do it to make a living. As long as I stuck to my beliefs and knew what my morals were, I would be ok acting a character who may not have the same beliefs. Because that's the job.

So did I quit? No. Because I know that all the supervisors here and the rest of the crew out on the floor, back me up. They are just as angry as I am. It doesn't make sense why our own HR reps would do what they're doing (I could understand corporate, but our own people?) but I've had to accept the fact that HR only looks at the costs to the company. I know what my beliefs and morals are. And I know that the actual human beings that I work with on a daily basis have the same morals as I do.

LSNT! July 19th.

I figured it's been a while since I've done one of these.

1. When is the last time you read the printed paper?
I haven't read read a printed paper in quite some time. I scan through our local paper every once in a while, but that's about it.

2. Who would you rather go on a date with, George Clooney, Brad Pitt or David Beckham?
Justin Timberlake for sure. what?? he's not on the list? disappointing...

3. Do you like to cook? Do you have a specialty dish?
I don't mind it that much, really, I'm just too lazy to do it. the one dish that I can cook pretty well would have to be our family recipe for tuna casserole. it's super easy but delicious.

4. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
I've always wanted to visit Italy. no particular reason...

5. If you’re married, do you see yourself married to the same person for the rest of your life? If you’re not married, do you see yourself getting married?
I would hope to get married someday. it would be kind of sad if I don't...

6. What is your favorite time of the day?
I don't think I have a favorite time of day...it all seems the same to me. there's not certain time that happens every day that I'm just totally psyched for. 


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i heart fashion: nail color of month: July

I'm a big fan of nail colors. I may not paint my nails very often, but I don't like wearing the same color all the time. since my career strips me of showing personality through clothing, nails are the next second things to be creative with. so I often paint my nails to match my mood, the season, and my likes. (on a side note: my toenails will always have color on them. for some reason, I think toenails with no color look completely freakish and unattractive. so if I don't paint my fingernails all the time, I will at least take the time to paint my toenails.)

which leads me to another new series: nail color of the month! (which will be a sub series of "i heart fashion" which will be a series I can share all my favorite fashion items and post things I just adore.) I get an email updates from Glamour magazine quite often and every month they pick their "nail color of the month." very seldom do I agree though because their colors never seem to be in the right season for me or match the mood of our area. but I also think they're on the east coast. so consider this is a west coast version.

I know July is almost over, but it's never too late to change the look of your nails. and I'm not sure how the weather is where you've been, but here in Miami/Mesa, Arizona it's been quite odd. One day it's nearing 115 degrees and sunny and the next it's cloudy and threatening to rain. typical monsoon weather I suppose, but usually our monsoon seasons hit around August/September. so to me, it's been an unusual month. so the color I picked for this month is a nice soft blue, it's Essie's "Lapis of Luxury". 

it kind of reminds me of gloomy-ish days while still being optimistic of pool time. I usually like bright colors for the summer, but I think this is a nice summer color without being too in your face, since that's how I've been feeling here in AZ lately. like today, bright sunny, hot as hell, and then BAM! rain and thunder. 

What do you guys think of my first nail color pick of the month?

Living Well: Introduction and Portions

I'm not sure if it's the season or the realization of the importance of health, but people all around me are taking more time to take care of themselves these days. and although I may not be working out every day like I feel like I should, I am trying to work out at least 3 times a week. sure I want to lose the pudgy gut I have, but I mainly just want to get a head start on my health. I see people all around with health problems due to their weight. I don't like the doctor and I don't like being sick, so if I can avoid having issues in the future, I'm a happy camper.

let's face it: our society is an unhealthy, overweight society. (I'm not saying everyone of course.) our society thrives on its ability to make things easier, more convenient, tastier, which in turn, becomes less healthy for us. we feel like we have no choice but to go through the drive thru for that Breakfast Jack when we're late and on the go. and we feel like we don't have time to exercise regularly. that's simply not true. there's things we can incorporate into our lives to keep us healthy and not disturb our busy world. we need to realize that it's ok to take a few extra moments for our health. because a few extra moments now could give you a few extra years later. (deep I know.)

so I'm starting a "Living Well" series. I am by NO means a health expert. I'm very guilty of fast/junk food addictions. but I am a real person trying to be healthy and I want to share my tips and observations along the way. these are merely ideas/suggestions. you may or may not see the same results.

my department held a 3-month long Weight Loss Challenge to try to encourage our coworkers to get in shape. Chris ended up winning the challenge (and a whopping $384!!) along with the satisfaction of losing a total of 30.7 pounds! he lost 12 pounds in the first week!! Even though Chris blew everyone else out of the park, the rest of my coworkers are excited to try the challenge again (not during the summer and without Chris). Rex (my new boss) even suggested they work out together at the gym. it's nice to see people motivating each other to get into a healthy shape. the timing was bad for this go around with the monsoons requiring more work and stress, so I'm looking forward to the next go around.

my dad has also joined a weight loss challenge at his work. this one is only for a month, but my dad already lost 15 pounds in the first week! his challenge is still ongoing but I'm ecstatic to see my dad taking a step to be healthier.

so what are their big secrets? how in the world did they lose so many pounds in the first week alone? I'm assuming you're curious. well, the main change I saw that they both incorporated into their lives was smaller portions. that's it. instead of piling food so high on your plate and getting seconds (and even thirds) they just controlled their portions. they stopped eating when they were full. I'm not saying to skip meals. eat every meal like you normally would, just eat less. don't get to the point where you feel stuffed and uncomfortable. if you can lose over 10 pounds in a week just by eating smaller portions*, imagine what you can lose when you combine that with exercise!



*of course I cannot guarantee that you will see the same results.

yes, I'm still alive...

just to quickly summarize the basics of what has gone on in my life since my last post:

1. my boss left the company and ended up screwing me over by not teaching me anything.
2. I celebrated the victory of the Dallas Mavericks waay too much and hopefully never again.
3. my baby, Pepper, turned one year old.
4. we bought an elliptical.
5. my best friend from tucson, Roy, and his pregnant wife moved in with us for the summer.
6. Chris and I started couples counselling again with a different counsellor.
7. I know how to tend a vegetable/fruit garden.
8. I learned how to bake zucchini bread, zucchini brownies, and zucchini muffins.
9. I can put my hair up in a high ponytail (I joined my cousin, aunt, and mom in the challenge of growing our hair out for Locks of Love).
10. I've become convinced that someone stole my camera from my office (or I just really misplaced it).
11. I bought a new camera.
12. saw the new Transformers movie. (AWESOME!)
13. got a new cell phone.
14. Chris and I have been fighting less and getting along more.
15. Chris won a weight-loss challenge we were doing at work and contributed a big chunk of money to my birthday trip (see below).

so basically not a whole lot has changed. and although I probably could scrounge up enough thoughts and opinions to write a post, I just have not had the time to do so. since my boss left and I have assumed his responsibilities, my work days are more stressful and exhausting. and I try to be as productive and efficient as I can during my 4-5 hours of time at home after work by either baking (due to the operpopulation of zucchinis from my parents' garden), working out (I've got to get to my "San Diego body"!), or trying to get some rest.

due to the fact that Chris chose to ignore my birthday last year, he's insisting we take a week-long trip during the week of my birthday. we have plenty of PTO to burn so I'm not gonna say no. initially I wanted to go to Seattle but I'm starting to think about other possibilities. we bought a time share a few years back (before we even graduated college! talk about irresponsibility and impulsive buying!) so we might use that to go somewhere more exotic. who knows. 

I'm going to try to blog more often and not just about random things going on in my life, because I feel like that gets pretty boring. so I have to restructure my thought process to have a more interesting and helpful blog. something that people can relate to. relationship issues. growing up. working full-time. music. family. opinions. something people will want to read. that's my goal.

music in my life: concerts

Yellowcard in Tucson ('06)

the very first concert I ever attended was STYX when I really young (maybe 8 or 9?). I remember the previous year they came to Phoenix for their summer tour and my parents wouldn't take me. I was absolutely crushed because at the time, STYX was my all-time favorite band (still one of my all-time faves). I cried while listening to their "Best of..." album on repeat the whole night they played in town that year. the next year, my parents learned. they bought me tickets. (can we say spooooiiiiled?)

The Academy Is... in Tucson ('07)

the one thing I remember about that concert was that I was one of the few standing in our section belting out the songs. I remember looking down the row and seeing this older man standing and singing and cheering and I remember trying to outdo him because, of course, I was definitely more excited to be there. (first sign of my over-the-top competiveness.) I screamed my little 8-or-9-year-old head off that night.

Paolo Nutini in Tucson ('07)

the second concert I went to was definitely N Sync back in high school. my friend Julia and I were obsessed at the time and made our own T-shirts and everything. We even braided our hair into a bazillion little braids (the goal was to put little beads in the braids that spelt out the names & such, but we could not find beads anywhere). we had so much fun that night, being your average teeny-boppers.

Snow Patrol in Phoenix ('07)

when I went off to college my yearning to go to concerts magnified. the first show I saw in Tucson was a free show on campus by Rufio - my friend Finn dragged me. but I had tons of fun. The first show I saw at the historical Rialto (Tucson's number one venue) was The Academy Is... with Panic! At the Disco with my friend Chris (not boyfriend Chris). That was my first real "rock" concert. After that I was hooked. I craved being next to the stage and listening to live music.

The Format in Tucson ('06)

I went to a lot of concerts in Tucson while I was in college. I've seen a lot of great bands and learned about a lot of new bands. I loved every part of live shows. screaming/yelling at the top of your lungs when they started playing your favorite song. the jumping/pushing/moshing. the bass beats rumbling through your body. meeting the band afterwards. taking pictures, lots of pictures. seeing how close to the stage you can get. the ringing in your ears when you go home to fall into bed. everything. every time a band I knew came into town, I was there. 


Jason Mraz in Tucson ('08)


rock shows were my love - they were my hobby. I've done my fair share of pushing and shoving. as I got closer to my senior year and post-grad life, I toned it down a bit going to some more low-key shows like snow patrol, the muse, and such, mainly because I was tired of fighting with high school kids. but I still love going to live shows. it's hard to go now in Phoenix since there's so many different venues and the pickings are slim, but I want ot be the kind of person who's going to shows until my hair starts turning gray.
that will be me.

me & 3/4ths of The Fray at Jimmy John's in Tucson ('07)

quote of the moment:

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
-Aldous Huxley

Learn Something New Tuesday! Vol. Three

I have a lot of half-written posts saved that I need to remember to finish when I get home. but they're there. I swear. and it's more than a questionnaire I stole from someone else. :)

annnnywho. here's this week's list of random questions.

1. Have you ever gone swimming in the moonlight?
a few times when I still lived with my parents. it's nice, but the bugs that are attracted to the light (if we have the pool light on) drive me crazy.

2. In your whole house, what room do you stay in the most?
well considering I get about 6-8 hrs of sleep at night and I am in my house awake only 4-5 hrs of the day, it would definitely be the bedroom. but when I'm awake I spend most of the time in the family room.

3. How much time do you spend on computer a week?
my job requires me to be at my computer most of the day so that's kind of unfair. but at home I would say maybe an 4-6 hrs a week?

4. If a stranger gave you a cookie, would you eat it?
probably. I'm a sucker for cookies. at least if they're bakery people handing out samples or something. I probably (or at least I hope) wouldn't take one from some weird creepy person on the street.

5. What’s one thing you’re looking forward to?
planting the rest of our plants and ordering gravel so we can have a nice backyard I can get furniture for.

6. If I say “psycho”, who is the first person that comes to your mind?
my ex, TJ.

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