Part Three Point Five: continuing to grow

I was chowing down on edamame when I, for some reason, thought back to my last post and wondered why I wrote that 3-part saga thing in the first place. Then I remembered - I was inspired by Emery's post about unforgiveness. So I wanted to say a few things on that note.

After all Chris & I had been through, I've had a lot of trouble getting over a couple of things. There are times I think to myself, how can I possibly marry someone who can't be there for me when I lose a loved one? I can't fathom how someone who supposedly cares about you is willing to make the decision to party it up with friends and acquaintances. I just can't put my head around the fact that he knew I was in a great deal of pain and sadness and he chose not to be there for me. I have always been there for him, anytime he allowed me to. So how can I be sure that he'd support and comfort me if a similar situation occurs?

I'm not certain I can be sure he'd be there. He's apologized and claims he will, but I don't think I'm ready to be completely sure yet. Although it brings me great pain and suffering when I think about what he's done, I can't dwell on the past. Once I put my new engagement ring on my finger I gave all my trust to him again. That may be stupid, but I don't think he'll screw it up this time.

We'll always stick together.