Of course I got Chris back. He simply couldn't resist me and I cannot blame him...or maybe it was the other way around....
Anyways, Chris & I got back together, but not after spending a couple of months of being just friends and hanging out. During these couple of months of being "single," we both grew up. I realized that life is too short to complain and bitch about everything that is done wrong. With the passing of my tata, I didn't want to sit around all day and waste the days away but rather go out and enjoy life and be productive. There's no reason to sit around and whine about being bored and nothing to do. I realized that I just had go out and do something. Anything. And I did that. Getting my license of course helped greatly. I didn't feel trapped or like I was stuck in this depressing, life-sucking hole. I was free. And I took advantage of every moment of my freedom and I realized that that's how I should have been living all along - taking advantage of every moment of life. So going out and being more social and independent really helped me grow into the person that Chris can deal with. Because before, I was so dependent on Chris and it just caused a lot of stress on our relationship.
I also saw Chris grow. He became slightly more open. He gave me advice during the havoc I went through with TJ. He's more comforting. If something upsets me, he sticks with me to figure out what is wrong and what he cando (more often at least). If we got into an argument where we separate, he comes to me to apologize if he knows he was wrong. He spends more time with me. He listens to me more. All these things that I had a problem with, he's improved on. Either that, or I just don't let everything get to me as much. Maybe it's a little of both.
Although we never actually talked about the major issues that pushed us away from each other and to behave like we did (my cheating & his lying/sneaking to strip clubs), we seem to understand each other just a bit more. I'm not sure how (I think our good friend, Roy, had something to do with it) but things are better. I still think we need to get to those deep issues that caused us to do what we did in order to fully move on, but for now, we're both extremely happy.
We bought a house together, almost before we were officially together. It's still under construction but should be done in a couple of months or so. We decided to get re-engaged. And this time I thought about saying "yes" before I actually said it. And this time, it feels right.
I know he's the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. He understands me. I'm a complicated person with odd traits/likings/disgusts/etc. He understands that I'm extremely close with my family & that they are & will always be #1 to me (something TJ got upset about - because he wasn't #1). He gets that I'm a huge sports junkie who needs to yell at the TV for bad calls. He knows that I don't like mushy foods or the smell of hot wing sauce and does what he can so that I avoid them. He lets me cuddle with a stuffed hippo. He knows that I have trouble with asking strangers for help. He gets me - not who he wants me to be or who he thinks I am, but me. And he lets me be me. I am comfortable with him. I can be 100% myself around him. And I can't imagine my life without him. He and I have been through so much and I want to go through so much more with him. He's complements me. He's my lobster.