baby you can drive my car

So, since Chris experienced a seizure yesterday - & I don't know if the law mandates it or if it's just highly recommended - he isn't supposed to drive/operate a vehicle. As I mentioned earlier - I do not have my driver's license. Once this was brought to my attention, I immediately felt pressure to get my license or at least start driving. It sucks. I want to just be able to do it when I feel comfortable - when I'm ready. And I'll know when I'm ready.

For the past 21 years (up until like last month) I couldn't swallow a pill. Any pill. Not even a tiny itty bitty one. It was all in my head. Every time I put a pill in my mouth I would panic. I just couldn't swallow it. It was as if my brain didn't want me to take medications. So I gutted everything out. Every pain I experienced I dealt with since that was basically all I could do. If I got a cold - oh man. I would have to wait until I felt better. Because not only could I not take pills, but I also couldn't take liquid medicine. I always threw it back up. So colds were always the worst & I seem to have gotten them a lot. I didn't mind really. I didn't really see much of a need to take pills. And every time someone asked if I did any drugs & I'd say "no" & then they try to be a smart & give me the "you don't take aspirin?" comeback I would always win since I could still say no & not be lying. But then, about a month ago, I got out of the shower, realized my period started and decided that I didn't wanna feel like shit all day. So I thought to myself, it's no big deal, and I just popped two Midol in my mouth. And then I swallowed them. Of course, I was super excited. But the point is, I was ready. I was ready & knew I could do it.

That's the feeling I was waiting for when it came to driving. When I'm ready, I'll know, & I'll do it. But everyone's constantly pressuring me. My mom always thought it was silly that I couldn't drive. Chris constantly felt like he had to drive me every where - which I think is completely not true. Very seldom did I ask him to drive me somewhere. Most of the time he's driving somewhere he's going too. But other than the occassional reminder that I needed to drive, it didn't bother me. I rode my bike to school. I rode my bike to the store. And I had friends & Chris who were willing to let me tag along and what not. It never really was a big issue.

Then I got my internship for Freeport. It's south of Tucson. There's not vanpool like my previous internships, therefore I would have to find my own transportation. Then that occassional reminder became a constant reminder. It's stressful knowing I have to learn how to drive in a month...

Then Chris had his seizure. And that constant reminder became a immediate chore. There goes my main source of transportation. Because he can't drive for like six months. Shittiness. It's even more stressful knowing I have to learn how to drive in like a weekend.

I mainly hate the thought of driving in Tucson. To me, Tucson traffic is always busy and scary. I never had a problem driving at home. But I've seen a lot of crazy things happen here. And I have a fear of driving in Tucson.

So we had to go to the store today & I needed to get a few more heavy things so I couldn't just ride my bike & stuff it in my backpack. I needed to drive. So after dinner, when traffic wasn't as horrible, I drove down to the Fry's not even a mile from our house. Not too bad. So then I agreed to take Chris to his brother's house to pick up his new commuter bike about 8 miles from our house. Not bad at all. It was actually kinda fun. As long as I have good music on that I can sing along to. So maybe driving in Tucson isn't that bad. As long as it's at night and there isn't much traffic. Regardless, it's a step. So maybe before you know it, I'll be driving during the day. Heck - maybe before you know it, I'll have my license.

In the words of Ray J - "maybe."