For What It's Worth...

I think I still want to straighten things out about how I feel about my roommates. I have never talked "shit" about them - I've never said anything bad or offensive (the only maybe offensive thing I can think I said is that they don't have common sense - but I'm convinced about 98% of the population doesn't have common sense) nor have I ever said they are horrible people. Sure I bitched about inconsideration, but I will admit, there are times where I turn my stereo on in the early morning while I'm getting ready for class. It's not that I'm purposely trying to wake them up, rather than I'm so used to getting ready with music on I don't even think about it. So my roommates may not be inconsiderate but just not realize certain things. I know I'm guilty of that many times. And I'm not just singling out Amanda & Greg - in fact, sometimes Arica made me just a frustrated during those previous weeks. She too did all the things I've listed before. But again, I don't think they're bad people and have never said they were. I have the right to bitch or vent about whatever I chose to considering this is my blog. This is my place of writing about whatever I feel like writing about. It in no way means I hate people or am not their friend or talk shit about them. In fact, I was frustrated with the things they did, not the people themselves. But I'm over that. I really, truly believe I was avoiding the real issues in my life and my way of avoiding anything is cleaning. (That's when you can usually tell that I'm supposed to be doing homework or something more important.) I just feel like I had to clear that up since I came across none other than Amanda's blog and read an entry bashing my ways and claiming how hypocritical I am (how did I know she used blogger too & somehow came across mine?). I never once said I don't get frustrated about things and I've never once said I don't talk about people behind their backs (good or bad) so how does that make me a hypocrite? I understand I'm not the cleanest person so complaining about cleanliness is hypocritical, but in reality, that's not really the person I am. I am not a clean freak. So yes, it was wrong of me to complain about something that I'm usually just as guilty at (except for draining grease in a coffee mug - my mom always used an used can). And for calling "foul" when the truth is exposed? Ok. I'm not really sure what that means. I've come to the realization that my frustrations were just little frustrations and didn't mean anything and I shouldn't let it affect my life before I cam across this entry. Maybe I defend myself, as everyone has the right to. And maybe I think things differently, as again, everyone has the right to. But saying that I'm this horrible hypocrite for whatever I wrote about and that I deserve what I got (past fights with Greg) doesn't really make sense to me. Sorry. And as for Greg - I don't regret any of the fights we've had because we are really different people and those fights help me understand the person he is. I may not always get how he thinks and he probably won't always get what I think, but now we know not to jump to harsh conclusions when it comes to each other. And, yes, I was wrong to jump to the conclusions that my roommates are inconsiderate and have no common sense, because I didn't take into consideration what they've been going through (wedding, school, work, dance class, moving, finding new roommates, etc...) So I stick to my apology for doing that and for the fact that you think I'm a hypocrite. But again, I feel I had the right to vent about whatever on here and again, how am I supposed to know anyone reads this? I'm not psychic. But I still respect you as individuals and think you're great people and good friends. However you chose to take it now is your choice.

Wow, I didn't mean to get that into that. I meant to take back some of my statements for a while but just haven't gotten around to it. But reading that entry made me feel like I needed to straighten things out. If I did or not we'll probably never know, but I tried. I'm not saying I'm always right about everything I do. People make mistakes. And I'm a person. So, therefore, I'm not perfect. But my entries weren't written to piss anyone off or to make them believe I hate them or think they're horrible people or was I talking shit about anyone. They were just to vent out little frustrations as they occurred. That's all. It wasn't anything personal, it was solely me getting out frustrations. Were they important? No. Were they justifible? No. But were they expressing how I feel? Yes. And I thought that's what blogs are for.

I intended this blog to be about how I've been feeling about school lately, but I feel like it's gotten so long it'll just have to wait.

P/S: I do enjoy your company (talking about future tattoos, playing scategories, etc...) and do hope we can still drink peach/pear ciders while playing board games/card games together.