Why don't you come right out and say it, even if the words are gonna hurt, we're better off this way

Before I start, I must say, this whole having Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays off things is going to make me broke unless I get a job, and I mean soon. Because I have to pass my time some how, and now that I have my own car, I have the power and freedom to go anywhere - including the mall. So I really hope I hear back from Freeport about me worknig part-time this semester so that I can fill my days off with something other than spending money. And then when I make money, I won't feel guilty when I buy adorable shoes like these. :-) I was planning on going to Forever 21 to spend a quite a bit of money but once I got there I remembered how hard it is for me to find anything worth buying. They have some cute things, but for me I either don't like the color, or the cut, or the style all together. I did find an adorable plum colored dress that I ended up buying - but didn't spend nearly as much as I expected. And since I just went shopping with Tracy last weekend and I already pretty much hit all the other stores in Mesa so didn't really find anything there either. I stopped at Aldo to check their sale shoes and found some adorable pewter/silver flats that were on sale and asked to try them on. The sales lady also kindly brought out another pair she "thought I might like." And like them I did. So even though they were twice the amount of the pair I originally asked for, I decided to splurge a little for them, because they were just so dang cute!

Moving on. I love being happy. Really. It's a pretty awesome feeling to go to bed in a good mood and wake up in a good mood. I don't think I've been this happy consistently in a looong time. But admist of all the happiness, an issue has surfaced between John (formally known as TJ) and I. A pretty big issue. An issue of jealousy. It's nice to know he cares enough to be concerned, but I'm starting to think it's going to get super annoying super quick. Not to mention I fear having to choose. He doesn't like Chris. Understandable - kinda. I mean, yes, he's my ex. Yes, I was engaged to him. And yes, I still live with him. But that's over. I've moved on. He's moved on (I think). He's a really good friend of mine because he's been there for me to help me get through a lot of shit. I can't just cut him out of my life. He still helps me through a lot of shit. And I enjoy his company. What's wrong with that? If there's nothing between us anymore, why can't we just be friends?

And he doesn't like Roy. Not so understandable. They've never met. But I did tell him that he used to have a crush on me. But come on - he's never acted upon it or tried to take advantage of me or anything. And he respects me and the person I'm with. And I told him that I wasn't interested. We're just friends. We've had classes together for the past three years. He's my best Tucson friend and nothing more.

I don't know why he can't trust me. I've never given him a reason to not. And Roy and Chris haven't done anything to him to make him so hateful towards them. He gives me shit saying I don't understand that he's been seriously burned in the past. Oh, I understand. But I can't change the past. I'm not his ex. I'm just not that kind of person. And I don't hang out with shitty, no-good people. They're good, respectable people. Otherwise I wouldn't associate myself with them. I dunno. I just hope we can talk about it this weekend and get past it.

Why can't we just all get along? I'm not going to stop hanging out with my friends because they're guys and my boyfriend doesn't like them. Sorry. They have to figure out a way to manage and be ok with each other. Chris, Roy, & I have been hanging out for about a year. We do lunches and dinners together. I don't like eating alone and they're the only friends I really have in Tucson. And we all get along. And we have fun together. We're like the three musketeers. You can't just break up the three musketeers. That's like illegal.