it's just a matter of time...

As much as I want to discuss how I feel about some recent "drama" that has occurred, I will refrain. There is no need for me to get into it. I graduated high school four years ago. I have grown into an adult and have no need to "act out" like a child who doesn't get dessert after dinner ("how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!"). That's all I have to say about that. Even though I'm a bit annoyed about what I've heard - I'm not getting myself involved because it has nothing to do with me.

As for my weekend - another great weekend back in my hometown. Delicious homemade dinners. Lunch with old friends. Puzzles with mom. And some quality time with TJ. All equate to a wonderful weekend. And I also finally got to learn a little bit about TJ. He sure is a talker. It's nice to just listen.

As for TJ & I. I keep telling myself I don't want a relationship right now, and part of me agrees with that. The other part is reminding me how much I like him. But according to him: he "digs" me & I "dig" him and he's not "banging" any other chick and we're "basically" dating - in his book - and I'm "practically" his "woman" but we're not in a relationship. ??? Oook. I get it. But then I don't. Am I supposed to be commited - not date any one else? I disagree with his way of thinking this time. He says he needs to be on his own to "get his shit together" but I think if you have the right person (*ahem*me*cough*) you can not only reach your goals, but you can even surpass them. The wrong person (*cough*his ex*cough) will bring you down because you have to spend all your time and energy trying to make someone miserable happy. And that's not right. But if you have a reasonably strong person, someone who can take care of herself and can spend the night alone every now & then, someone that is ok with your camping trips with just the boys - she can help you. She can be the encouragement and motivation that you need. I don't think you should push yourself away from someone you clearly like & are into & have some kind of bond with because you are scared or something. If you like someone, why beat around the bush? Why wait until "it's meant to be" or whatever. Life's too short to just sit around and wait.

But then again, part of me is like - this is nice. We're getting to know each other. We're building a stronger bond. And what's the rush? I'm young. It's not like I'm turning 50 tomorrow and have never been married. There's no need to rush something like this. We're just chillen. Having fun. We don't need to label anything. We don't need to "declare" that we like each other. We already know that. And it's not like because we're not in a relationship we're not seeing each other or missing out on anything.

I guess there's no responsibilities with what we "have" right now. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. And I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it yet (clearly) but I do know I'm just gonna try to do my best at going with the flow. If I don't think about it as much, maybe things will just fall together. It's weird though. It's like we're complete opposites with so much in common. If that makes any sense at all. I'll try: he's a "cowboy", wears cowboy boots & tight jeans & listens to country - I'm ....I don't know a label for me, but I wear skinny jeans & flats & listen to rock. But at the same time, we both love fishing and camping and the outdoors. And stuff like that. Got it now? Good.