new york and labor day in pictures

warning: lots of pictures to follow. :)

amazing news. I mentioned earlier that my brand new hard drive died on me last week - just days after uploading all my new york pictures on it. I thought I lost 10 days worth of awesome-ness and was absolutely crushed. not to mention chris was also really upset since he's convinced it'll be the last time he visits there because his grandma was thinking about selling it.

weeeelllll, turns out I uploaded 121 of the photos onto facebook! I didn't realize I did because when I tried uploading, it kept coming up with an error so I didn't think I ever got them uploaded. but I did! 

yaaay!

I don't have all the pictures I took but 121 of them is a lot and definitely enough to visually remember our little vacay. so here's my faves:

chris's grandma's backyard take feet from her back door.

chris's grandma's adorable house

sunset over findely lake

I loved the contrast of the sunset in new york compared to what I'm used to seeing. in arizona, our sunsets are deep, rich oranges and purples whereas here I felt they were softer and more pastel-y. beautiful in it's own way.

me frolicking in green lands 

there was so much green I couldn't believe my eyes. coming from arizona where the only green you see is weeds or pine trees up north, the amount of green I saw here was amazing. I loved every inch of it. but I don't think I could trade my desert in just yet.

canoeing

the beautiful church chris's grandpa pastored at

I'm not a religious person but I was awestruck with this church. I found it absolutely astonishing. the inside was insane with intricate woodwork and gorgeous stain glass. chris's grandpa was a pastor at this church for about 13 years! 

looking at lake erie.

chris and I at Niagra Falls (on the canadian side)

and since I have my computer up and working and my sister uploaded some pictures of our labor day bbq, I thought I share a couple of those too.

cheyenne, pepper, and my dad

I swear she's a little camera ham

pepper & cheyenne swimming along

it looks like they're best buddies, but in reality pepper is the annoying little cousin that cheyenne despises. she's actually scared of pepper. she refuses to go outside if pepper's at the door.yenne's almost anti-social I think.

I'm so thankful for facebook and it uploading most of my pictures. I'm also thankful for my awesome family and amazing photographer sister. :)

sick puppy

pepper's got parvo. the adorable puppy we got less than a week ago, that we've already fallen in love with, is sick. we're pretty confident that since the person I got her from didn't give pepper her shots yet, that pepper got it from one of the girl's other dogs. because both ginger and cheyenne (the two dogs we've exposed her to) have had their parvo shots.

sick puppy. :(

I noticed wednesday evening that she wasn't acting her usual self. I know I've only had her a few days and all, but I could tell something was wrong. sunday, monday, and tuesday she was very playful and active. she would chase ginger around and play tug of war with you. she would follow you every where and nip at your feet. she'd hop around like a little spotted bunny rabbit. she was a puppy. wednesday evening she was lazy. didn't move much. she looked sad - kinda how you'd look when you just don't feel good and don't feel like doing anything. and I noticed a change in her poop. it was a little runnier and looked mucus-y. I thought maybe it was just the change in food. or since it was later in the day, maybe she was just sleepy - played too much during the day. maybe she just had a puppy cold. but she started vomiting mucus-y-looking stuff and I thought the food was making her sick. she refused to eat, not even treats, and she barely drank any water. by thursday I was worried and told chris I wanted to take her to the vet to at least get her shots. I was planning on taking her friday after my dentist appointment. although I was going to pay attention to her behavior to see if she gets worse or better. I was concerned, but didn't think it was anything serious.

I googled local vets to get some numbers I could call to set up an appointment. at the bottom of one vet site, there were links to pages with addition information on common issues. one of them was "parvo in puppies." I wasn't really sure what parvo was, so I clicked on it. I'm glad I did, because I only read a few lines before I was 95% confident that that's what she had. vomiting, diarrhea, lethargy, and not eating where the symptoms - the exact symptoms pepper had! I immediately texted chris saying "what if pepper's got parvo?" and not more than a minute later chris replied with "we can go now."

two things I found odd: (1) it was only 1:50. we get off at 2:30(ish) and I knew chris had a lot of work to get done that day and he told me earlier that morning that he probably have to work late. and (2)he replied within seconds. again, I knew chris was super busy and when he's super busy, he doesn't reply back. which is understandable of course. so I really started to freak out. did chris agree with me? when I got to his office I asked what he thought. he said he made an appointment that evening at 6 with a vet. he thought it was parvo too.

we went to the vet and they took a fecal test and it indeed came back positive for parvo. although, it was a "weak" positive. the vet explained that there's a dark blue dot where they put the sample and if another dot appears then it's positive. the darkness or lightness of the dot indicates the severity. pepper's dot was a rather light blue. they told us we had two options: hospitalize her there for 3 days/nights for almost $2,000 or take her home and give her a home treatment (strict diet and medication schedule) for about $300. we decided to treat her at home. that way we can continue to give her love and support and make her as comfortable as possible. so now it's time for operation: get pepper healthy again.

I'm hoping, praying, I'm right about this one. because I don't know if I can handle losing her. I have to thank my family millions for helping out though. the vet gave us a strict schedule of when to feed her, how much to feed her, and when to give her medications and we had to start today. well, since we both work, my family is amazing enough to step in and care for her for the day while we're at work. especially thanks to megan - it's her birthday weekend and I first ruined her birthday dinner at mint thai (by not being able to make it before it closed since we took pepper to the vet) and then having her take care of my sick puppy. but also thanks to my dad and brother. couldn't do it without you and I don't know if I can show you my appreciation. because of you guys, we have a chance - pepper has a chance. so thanks.

I'll keep you all updated and I ask for your prayers. I know she's just a puppy, but she's like family to us.

annoyance of the day: chris-less mornings

chris is out of the town for half of the week at some conference in phoenix. sure phoenix is only a 45-60 minute drive from our house so theoretically he should be able to drive home every night, but I'm not sure if his car would be able to handle the driving back and forth. so I'm stuck at home. with a dog and a new puppy. I feel like a single mother of two. this is what my morning consists of:

• try not to trip over ginger (who has to beat you down the stairs) as I rush to get pepper outside as soon as she wakes up so she can do her "thang"
• pour myself a cup of coffee
• wash face, get dressed, apply makeup
• let pepper back in
• sip some coffee
• "no pepper, don't chew on the table/couch/rug/cord/etc"
• give pepper something to chew on while I try to enjoy my coffee and "breakfast" (which just consists of a couple handfuls of cereal) and read some of my book
• rip the bottom of my pant leg out of pepper's mouth
• pry the throw blanket out of pepper's mouth
• make sure each dog has their own food (adult healthy balance diet for ginger and puppy healthy growth for pepper)
• make my lunch
• make sure ginger has plenty of water
• see why pepper is whining
• make sure towel is clean/dry in pepper's crate (which is upstairs in my room)
• give ginger a bone
• take ginger's bone away for being mean to pepper
• refill pepper's water bowl & food bowl in her crate
• get stuff together for work
• "ginger get out of there"
• try to put shoes on while pepper chews on them
• find and put toys or something for pepper to chew on in her crate
• give ginger attention so she doesn't feel left out
• take pepper outside again
• wait for her to do her business
• find treats to give to pepper for doing her business outside
• give ginger a treat for always doing her business outside
• turn off coffee pot
• go back upstairs to brush coffee teeth
• stop ginger from drinking out of toilet
• make sure all doors are locked (back door, bedroom balcony doors, garage doors)
• put pepper in her crate
• find cd's to take for the drive
• rush back upstairs to stop pepper from whining by remembering to put a sheet over the crate
• leave for work

all this while constantly keeping an eye on pepper to make sure she stays out of trouble and having to rush up and down the stairs is exhausting. it's so much easier when chris is there with me to help out in some way or another. and I always feel so rushed. I wake up an hour before I have to leave for work and I'm convinced that some my minutes go missing. sure I could get up earlier, but it's hard to get yourself out of bed at 3 in the morning. especially when you were just awake at 1 am to let pepper out.

I already feel exhausted this week and it's only tuesday.

dog problems

my dear pepper is in the biting phase of being a puppy. I think her original owner failed to mention that part to me. she's constantly nipping at ginger (which she is not a fan of) and your feet. I used to be able to run up the stairs to get away from her, but she quickly learned how to get up those. although she's not so great at getting down yet.

it's like taking care of a baby. except you let it pee/poop in the dirt rather than change its diaper. I wake up multiple times in the night to rush her downstairs and make sure she goes pee outside and not inside. I have to find ways to get her to stop whining and to just go to sleep. I can tell it's driving chris nuts, but I'm ok with it.

he was is so stressed that she's gonna chew everything and ruin the house while we're gone. but things are gonna work out. my mom, who works not more than a mile away from our house, is willing to stop by during her lunch break and on her way home from work to let her out of her crate for a bit and go to the bathroom if needed. it'll help a lot.

puppies are awesome. my family loves her. they love playing with her and watching the silly puppy things she does. like tripping over herself. or chewing on a bone the same size as her. or trying to carry a shoe across the room. or just cuddling up.

I don't regret getting a puppy. but then again it's only been a couple of days. but it makes me so happy to have something I can take care of and loves to cuddle with me. ginger liked to cuddle, sure, but if she'd always choose chris over me. now I have my own. and couldn't be happier.

chris spoils me. he sure can be a great guy sometimes. but we still have our problems. especially when it comes to communication. I want to go to a couples counseling to see if someone can help us learn to communicate effectively with each other. but we just "haven't gotten around to it yet." hmm. new operation perhaps? operation: get chris to talk to me. I'll have to get into that another time though. puppy needs me.

I win

after much coaxing (aka pouting) chris finally agreed to at least go look at the puppy. once he saw her, he caved.

"no don't take my picture"

looks like operation: new dog puppy has been accomplished. I rock at these operations. our family feels complete.

we're not sure what to name her yet. we figured we'll see what kind of personality comes out in the next couple of days and then decide. we're thinking either 'cayenne' if she's a feisty one or 'rosemary' (aka: 'rosie') if she's a sweetheart. so we'll see.

sooo close

did my daily browsing of craigslist for operation: new very young but well-trained puppy and came across an absolute cutie.

puppy of the day: 

omg she is precious! absolutely. she's 6 weeks old. crate-trained. and only $75! I wasted no time in email it to chris to see if he approves. and he did! he even gave me the ok to write the owner to ask to meet her! soooo I did. turns out, the person lives in glendale. eek! at least an hour and five minute drive. buut she's sooo cute! and ginger needs a friend. and don't find too many adorable pups like her. even though I show many "puppies of the day" not many of them do I absolutely love. so I'm hoping chris will be ok driving so far to meet and possibly take her home.

I feel so close to completing this operation. but trying not to get my hopes up too high that I'm devastated when shit hits the fan or things don't work out. now would the perfect time to get a puppy though. since we don't have too much going on yet (other than unpacking) and we don't have a tv - our evenings once we get home are pretty empty. and a new puppy could fill the time easily. plus maybe I can talk my dad into going by the house every once in a while to check up on her.

I'll keep you posted.

annoyance of the day: obvious

today has sucked so far and I couldn't quite decide what was annoying me the most today. and since I already did a post on b-dogs, I've opted for the word "obvious." it's a stupid word and I wanna punch those who chose to use it. it's pointless. if it's so "obvious," then wouldn't I already know? and if I don't, then you're just making me feel stupid for not knowing something so "obvious."

b-dog overuses the word "obvious." I'm not even sure if he even realizes how much he uses the word. "obviously we won't have the pads rinsing this month." duh. "obviously this is as far as we can get without the mine plan." you think? "obviously blah blah blah." yeah I get it since it's obvious. I think it's safe to say about 90% of the "obvious" stuff he told me today was obvious and I already knew. 

stop wasting my time by saying something that is obvious. it's obvious because everyone already knows it. according to the merriam-webster, obvious is something that is "easily discovered, seen, or understood." I'm a fucking engineer. I know sometimes I don't feel like I am, but I did go to college. and therefore I do understand the basics - aka: all the "obviouses" - of forecasting and dump leach and sx flows. I get it. you do not need to spend 10-15 minutes explaining the "obvious" to me. because it's already fucking obvious!

on another note. now that we're all moved into our new house (YAY!!) I'm not giving up on operation: new dog. ginger needs someone to play with while we're at work all day. it's just cruel leaving her there all by herself.

puppy of the day: ain't he a cutie?

probably too young for chrisy-poo.

awesome: coming back to my office after a day with my boss (shoot me now) to find a box of gobstoppers on my desk from a coworker

lame: having to spend a day with your boss following him around while he does his own shit.

the smoke monster

I was listening to the radio this morning and the trivia "for the tired and braindead" of the day was that it is 100% likely you will get a divorce if one of you do this. what is this? smoke. according to whatever study, it is 100% likely you'll get a divorce if one of you are smokers. I was actually a little surprised. I didn't think that if you smoke and your partner doesn't, you're relationship is likely to fail. I mean, if you love someone for who they are, aren't you accepting all their traits and habits? I can't see someone saying "stop smoking or we're getting a divorce." trust me, I am not a fan of smoking, but really? I know when I was "dating" TJ, who smokes - a lot - I tried my best to encourage him to quit. I didn't like or really approve of what he was doing to his health but (at the time) I liked him and that was enough for me to stay with him (again, at the time). I don't think I would have broken up with him solely due to the fact that he smokes.

but then again, would I be able to live with someone who smokes for the rest of my life? I'm not sure if I would be able to handle watching someone I love slowly kill themselves (and greatly harm those around them) for a quick selfish pleasure. especially when I've dealt with the consequences of smoking very closely. during high school, my best friend tracy's father was diagnosed with cancer which was caused by his habit of smoking. he passed away our junior (or was it senior?) year of high school and watching the devastation it brought her nearly killed me. my tata was also a victim of a lung disease from his smoking and I'm convinced that the weakening it caused is the main factor in his passing. so I probably would never marry someone who smoked in the first place. I would do what I could to get the person to stop before we were to even get married just because of my own personal beliefs against smoking. I guess I can see getting a divorce if the person refused to quit since you most likely would not be able to handle having to watch them die. plus the harm it brings to you and your kids? no thank you.

but I still can't believe it's such a huge cause in divorce. so I googled it. and sure enough there have been studies that show the likelihood of getting divorced if one is a smoker. the most recent study that I saw was one from last year by the Australian National University. It was mainly about how divorces are more likely for those who are opposites, but it did say that marriages where one smoked (and the other didn't) were 75-90% more likely to end than marriages where both are non-smokers. (maybe I misheard the percentage on the radio?)

ouch. another reason to be smoke-free.

keeping a marriage. that's my anti-drug.

puppyies of the day: 

I know I accepted not getting a beagle puppy a while ago, but look at those faces! my mom and I completely fell in love with these guys last night. I saw them again and my heart melted again. damn you chris.

puppy obsessed

it's been a while. with the whole confusion around our house, the last thing I was looking for was a new puppy. of course, it wasn't off my mind and I still browsed a little bit, just not as much as before. I also gave up on my lifelong dream of naming my pets after elements off the periodic table. I didn't want ginger to feel out of place or left out. so we decided we'll name them spices. I know: genius.
puppyies of the day:

oh how my heart yearns for a white and brown/blue pit bull pup. I dream about it - that's how much it aches for one. something about their 2 tone colors makes my heart melt. I already emailed my interest about this one (don't tell chris) so we'll see. this little guy (or gal, not sure yet) reminds me of that very first puppy I fell in love with in the very beginning. except this one doesn't have a brown ear. pretty similar though huh? 

chris and I ventured to the mall this weekend to look at bedding and stuff for our soon-to-be-home. every time I go to the mall, I have to stop by the Animal Kingdom, also known as the puppy store. we saw this adorable little chocolate lab, like this one, and I fell in love with him. he was so cute and playful I want to go back and get him. I joked to chris that we could name him brown suga. but then again, that's not a spice.

how do you say no to little faces like that? and look at their cute little brown ears. awww. not to mention their love of basketball is a huge plus.

sometimes I wonder if I'm just puppy obsessed. or just my heart desires an addition to our "family" so greatly it's driving me crazy. it's better than a baby that we're definitely not ready for. what's the difference you ask? taking care of a puppy is like taking care of a child, true. but taking care of two kids is different than taking care of one big kid and a puppy. it's bad enough having to deal with chris's childish antics all the time, but two children? no way. a puppy is so different. yes they require lots of attention - attention I'm full of and willing to give - but it's just different. I don't think chris is ready to be a dad. and I'm definitely not ready to be a mom. so I'll just stick with puppy parents for now.

annoyance of the day: stress

today sucks. here's why:

1. I have to start presenting the process data during our daily morning meeting. I have to know where all the numbers come from & if there's any variance, why. presenting the numbers doesn't terrify me that much - it's the explaining if something's wrong. I feel like I don't really know the process & all the details that much yet and fear the moment when someone asks me a question I don't know the answer to (although I should) and everyone realizes how dumb I really am. no pressure.
2. WARNING: possible TMI moment - skip to number 3 if you want to avoid TMI. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. not too big of a deal, except it's a pap smear appointment. my first one ever. not looking forward to it too much. although I am thankful I get to finally get one (thank you company paid insurance!) I'm a little terrified of what they'll find. nothing serious, I just know that I have a reoccurring pain-in-the-ass (not literally) aka yeast infections. I mean I have them a lot. I've been taking this stuff called azo which helps treat & prevent and it works really well if I take it every day. I just hope she doesn't look in there and tell me it's a different problem.
3. the suns game is tonight - game 1 against the spurs. ugh. if we lose I know I'll pay for it at work tomorrow. so I'm really hoping we'll win. if we win, not only do we win, but it'll also increase my confidence in winning the whole series. at least the hydromet manager (my boss's boss's boss), troy, is on my side. he bet with mark that if the suns win, mark has to wear a suns hat for a month & if the spurs win then troy will wear a spurs hat. so to clarify - if the suns win, mark has to wear a suns hat and a suns jersey. priceless. I just hope we win this first game, then I'll have more faith.

that's really it, but it sure is bringing a lot of stress to me. I can't wait until today's over.

to make things better: puppy of the day:

2-3 month old shepard/lab mix? how
can you say no to that face?!

16 days until we get to move into our own house!

awesome: the rocket summer's new cd.

lame: being uber tired at work

the carnival's in town!

I spent some more time with the dearest baby lorelai this weekend. she's amazing I love her so freakin' much. every time I spend time with her it makes me want to have a little baby that much more. I've been worried about having kids with chris for a while now - I'm not sure how he'd be as a father. sometimes, I'm convinced that he hates kids - every time we're in the mall or at a restaurant & there's an annoying kid around he seems frustrated. I mean I'm not a fan of annoying, screaming, obnoxious kids either, but what id that's just what you get? what if the kid is just having a bad day? there's only so much you can prevent or work with. and I just hope chris can just handle that.

for the first time in our relationship, though, I looked at chris & smiled because I couldn't wait to have kids with him - I knew he was gonna be a great dad. we were driving home from work & we passed by my old elementary school - desert vista elementary school. there were a shitload of cars parked in the parking lot and along the street so I was wondering what the hell was going on. I read their little bulletin board/sign thing that the little carnival thing they have every year was there. I was excited because I remember going around as a kid playing the games and hanging with my friends. chris said, "well that's good for you" knowing my excitement so I asked him if he would wanna go to the carnival or anything and he said "of course!" I saw & he told me how excited he would be to take his kids around to play games and shiz. and that's when I looked at him, smiled, & thought that he'd be a great father.

I can't wait.


puppy of the day: 

he's a 2 month old pit/mix. ADORABLE!

awesome: free facials!

lame: laundry.  

making bets

I made a bet. I don't like making bets in fear of the possibility of losing regardless of how confident I am. and not only did I make a bet, I made a bet with the mine manager at my work. the bet? the suns will either (a) win the championship or (b) beat the spurs if they ever play. how stupid I am? I (a) made a bet with my boss's boss's boss's boss & therefore can't talk too much shit since, well he's pretty high up there, (b) made a bet that is very difficult to win since the spurs have beaten the suns the past 4 years we've played them in the playoffs, and (c) made a bet that is soo important to win since I'm the "newbie" and need to impress/gain credibility around the office rather than make stupid bets against someone who has always won bets (the hydromet manager made the same kind of bet last year & lost).

I feel sick. I'm terrified of going to work next week. I know shit's gonna go down & I'm not one who has witty comebacks & even if I did - he's the mine manager! I'm screwed. I prayed the mavericks would beat the spurs last night, but they failed me & even though we won, I felt like calling into work because I know we'll be playing the spurs in round two which starts monday. every game they play I'm gonna be soo stressed out even more than I would normally be. and even though I'm rather confident we can beat the spurs - when we're hot, we've played better defense & we'll have home court advantage - I really don't wanna deal with the spurs beating us. hopefully they won't let me down.
the stakes? suns win - mark (the mine manager) has to wear a suns jersey for a month. spurs win - I'll have to wear a spurs jersey for a month. *shivers*


update: mark showed up to work today with a spurs polo & spurs basketball shorts over his pants. I think this is war.


puppy of the day:I really love the color of this one.

6 month old female lab/pit mix 
crate & potty trained

aww isn't she precious? would be perfect for our humongous yard.





awesome: la roux's "bulletproof."
lame: presentations.

all things considered...

so here I am, working on what seems to be a never-ending excel spreadsheet, trying to figure out how everything is calculated, listening to pandora on my phone (can't stream at work which is super lame), trying my best to stay awake after another late game night, when this song comes up: "all things considered" by yankee grey. my first instinct was to change it since the first five or so notes game the impression that it was a country song, but I was in the middle of typing something, so I couldn't. Instead I listened to it and found it ridiculously catchy. And for some reason it made me think of TJ.

since TJ & I have completely stopped talking, I catch myself thinking about the times we spent together and how much fun I had. I wonder if I was truly being selfish and not understanding l or if I was being a bitch or if I was at complete fault like he kept claiming or what. and then I wonder if I really am a drama queen as other people claim.

but after listening to this rather short tune, I've come to the conclusion that, all things considered, I'm doing just fine. I've got the love and support from my family and friends. I have a wonderful, caring, thoughtful fiancée. I'm about to move into a beautiful house. I have a challenging and exciting job career. I may not have the drama or the fun times that he brought me, but I'm pretty dang happy - consistently happy and rather stress free. I don't want drama. I like how everything's simple now. and even though it was a hellish and long nine or so months, where I am now is awesome and I like love that. it's nice not having to feel guilty every time I spend time with friends or family or wanna take a nap. life is good.


puppy of the day (until I get a new one):

10 week old mixed female. mainly crate trained!

awesome: the suns winning playoff games that are crucial to win and winning them by 20+ points.

lame: spreadsheets that refer to every other spreadsheet and workbook on site making me take hours just to find out where one single number came from.

annoyance of the day: b-dogs

some people are lucky to have awesome b-dogs. the the kind of b-dogs that listens and understands and actually thinks you're a human being. and the ones that help you grow and learn as a professional.

my b-dog is not exactly one of those. he's a good guy and all but he's really pushing my buttons right now. I am full aware that my "90 days" (90 days of being a new employee and therefore people giving me a break and being nice) are up but you don't need to prove a point that you can torture me. I am looking forward to the tasks and assignments people will be giving me. but that also doesn't mean you can sit back and laugh like an arrogant bastard.

and when I ask you a simple question, I just want a simple answer. you don't need to explain to me some useless story for 15-20 minutes. and you definitely don't have to go into deep details about everything I ask. "is monty going over this?" is a yes or no question. that's it.

and when someone does give me something to do - don't come into my office and do it for me. I am fully capable of adding a data series on a chart in excel. I just had a simple question about what needed to be done - I didn't not know how to do it. thanks for doing it for me, but that doesn't help me learn nor does it make me look like I know what I'm doing.
my b-dog is just rude, simply put. he'll interrupt you. he'll make you wait while he chats with someone. he comes into my office today - who knows why - and gets a phone call. so he answers it. fine, no biggie. but he talks so freakin' loud and he stays in my office so I can't even concentrate to do anything else while I'm waiting for him. and of course, it's not a short conversation nor does he apologize for taking the phone call or anything (it's just common courtesy). he corrects people with a condescending attitude. he laughs at people when they make an innocent mistake - and not in a fun everyone's-laughing-I'm-just-laughing-along kinda way. and he acts like he thinks he's such a big shot around here.

I think the thing that annoys me the most, though, is how he thinks he has the right to be such a dick and go around changing everything. if you think something is better and can improve the process, then fine, just talk to the supervisors here about it first. don't go talking to your b-dog (rex) so he'll approve it and throw it at chris & tom (the supervisors here at the tankhouse) without giving them any kind of warning. that's just not right. people can be understanding about changes, if you just talk to them first.

on another note, I'm gonna start doing a little ending thing (kinda pretty much stolen from another blog I came across one day). just for fun.





awesome: beagle puppies. this is another beagle puppy (12 weeks old) that I found on craigslist that I super badly want.

lame: $400 re-homing fees for a beagle puppy that isn't even potty trained house trained.

I need me some puppy love

so I somewhat got the go-ahead as to getting a new dog - at least I'm telling myself I did. it won't be the puppy I desperately yearn for - chris is too afraid it's going to chew up all our new furniture - understandable - but I got him to agree to at least an 8 month to a year old dog - which is still considered a puppy. (although he did say a 5 month old puppy was pushing it - so I may be able to talk him down to 6 or 7 months? haha) I'm beyond excited since I've come to terms as to the real reasons I want a puppy so bad.

(1) because chris has ginger. even though ginger is both of ours, she's a daddy's girl for sure. she cuddles with him more on the couch and gets more excited to see him than me. I want a puppy to be care for & to cuddle with & will excited to see me after work.

(2) because I'm itching for a baby. yup. that's right. even though I'm still not 100% sure if I even want to have kids, I have this uncontrollable feeling whenever I see a baby to think awww, I want one. and baby lorelai doesn't help. she is the cutest dangest baby ever. I'm so attracted to this little human being that is so new to everything around her and finds everything interesting and amusing. her excitement to learn intrigues me. the fact that she knows certain things - if you need comfort, she'll pat your back - is amazing. and when I play with her, it reminds me of how simple life can be. how covering your eyes & uncovering them can be so amusing. how good it feels when you learn something new like tying your shoe. she reminds me that life isn't always complicated and stressful. I want my own to bring me that kinda joy every day.

but not right now. not for a while. and not until I get over the fact that I can safely carry a child and it won't be that bad to push it out of my vagina or get a c-section. because right now, that's what I fear the most. I'm hoping a puppy will fool my body into thinking it's like a child so this "itching" can go away.

chris said we can get a puppy soon but not until we move into our house. well thank god our house will be done in about three weeks now! so I'm guessing that in about 5-6 weeks I will have operation: new dog complete.

here's some cute guys I've found so far.

I'd name her moly (short for molybdenum) I'm not sure how old she is - young is what the place say - but she's a pit/lab/shepard mix.

this guy is 7 months old & crate trained. I'm thinking he's a nitro (short for nitrogen of course)

this guy is about 5 months old (they think) & is a lab/pit mix & I love his paws! I'm not sure what I'd name him quite yet though...maybe zirconium or helium?

I've always wanted a beagle puppy! but I could never find any for adoption in arizona so I basically gave up. except I found these little guys on craigslist! aww I want one so bad. I'd name him copper. :)

hopefully I can find one that'll be available the end of may or early june (the beagle puppies are ready may 25th!). we'll see what the boy says.