making bets

I made a bet. I don't like making bets in fear of the possibility of losing regardless of how confident I am. and not only did I make a bet, I made a bet with the mine manager at my work. the bet? the suns will either (a) win the championship or (b) beat the spurs if they ever play. how stupid I am? I (a) made a bet with my boss's boss's boss's boss & therefore can't talk too much shit since, well he's pretty high up there, (b) made a bet that is very difficult to win since the spurs have beaten the suns the past 4 years we've played them in the playoffs, and (c) made a bet that is soo important to win since I'm the "newbie" and need to impress/gain credibility around the office rather than make stupid bets against someone who has always won bets (the hydromet manager made the same kind of bet last year & lost).

I feel sick. I'm terrified of going to work next week. I know shit's gonna go down & I'm not one who has witty comebacks & even if I did - he's the mine manager! I'm screwed. I prayed the mavericks would beat the spurs last night, but they failed me & even though we won, I felt like calling into work because I know we'll be playing the spurs in round two which starts monday. every game they play I'm gonna be soo stressed out even more than I would normally be. and even though I'm rather confident we can beat the spurs - when we're hot, we've played better defense & we'll have home court advantage - I really don't wanna deal with the spurs beating us. hopefully they won't let me down.
the stakes? suns win - mark (the mine manager) has to wear a suns jersey for a month. spurs win - I'll have to wear a spurs jersey for a month. *shivers*


update: mark showed up to work today with a spurs polo & spurs basketball shorts over his pants. I think this is war.


puppy of the day:I really love the color of this one.

6 month old female lab/pit mix 
crate & potty trained

aww isn't she precious? would be perfect for our humongous yard.





awesome: la roux's "bulletproof."
lame: presentations.

all things considered...

so here I am, working on what seems to be a never-ending excel spreadsheet, trying to figure out how everything is calculated, listening to pandora on my phone (can't stream at work which is super lame), trying my best to stay awake after another late game night, when this song comes up: "all things considered" by yankee grey. my first instinct was to change it since the first five or so notes game the impression that it was a country song, but I was in the middle of typing something, so I couldn't. Instead I listened to it and found it ridiculously catchy. And for some reason it made me think of TJ.

since TJ & I have completely stopped talking, I catch myself thinking about the times we spent together and how much fun I had. I wonder if I was truly being selfish and not understanding l or if I was being a bitch or if I was at complete fault like he kept claiming or what. and then I wonder if I really am a drama queen as other people claim.

but after listening to this rather short tune, I've come to the conclusion that, all things considered, I'm doing just fine. I've got the love and support from my family and friends. I have a wonderful, caring, thoughtful fiancée. I'm about to move into a beautiful house. I have a challenging and exciting job career. I may not have the drama or the fun times that he brought me, but I'm pretty dang happy - consistently happy and rather stress free. I don't want drama. I like how everything's simple now. and even though it was a hellish and long nine or so months, where I am now is awesome and I like love that. it's nice not having to feel guilty every time I spend time with friends or family or wanna take a nap. life is good.


puppy of the day (until I get a new one):

10 week old mixed female. mainly crate trained!

awesome: the suns winning playoff games that are crucial to win and winning them by 20+ points.

lame: spreadsheets that refer to every other spreadsheet and workbook on site making me take hours just to find out where one single number came from.

moving on up

we got a letter in the mail over the weekend from the housing development chris & I are getting our house built. it's what I've been waiting for since january. our closing of escrow (or whatever they call it) is set for may 19th! this is the day we'll get the keys to our house! I just can't wait for it to be done because it sure has been a hassle. so in 22 more days (not counting today) chris & I will be sleeping in our own home. on our amazing bed. it's got the perfect name - cloud supreme. how can you not like a bed that's call the cloud supreme? anyways, super stoked to be getting out of my parent's house - not that I don't love my family and all, just 6 adults under a small roof is just too hectic. and I seem to be the one causing most of the issues. 

other than that, I don't really have anything interesting to say today.

here's the puppy I've fallen in love with for the day. 

8-9 wk old female pit - her name would be calcium or "calie"

awesome: found this while researching some stuff for work. it's an illustration of how the copper in the solution (the little thing with eyebrows) is attracted to the organic (the blobby thing) during one of the processes. love it's honesty.

lame: msha is on site today & will be inspecting the tankhouse (where I work) any minute now. I'm all about mine safety & enforcing regulations and policies, but I think msha inspectors have a tendency to take it too far (labeling all empty containers "empty" - really?). they also just bring stress around the workplace and prevent employees from getting the important shit done since they have to spend days running around checking EVERYTHING possible to make sure it will "comply."

annoyance of the day: b-dogs

some people are lucky to have awesome b-dogs. the the kind of b-dogs that listens and understands and actually thinks you're a human being. and the ones that help you grow and learn as a professional.

my b-dog is not exactly one of those. he's a good guy and all but he's really pushing my buttons right now. I am full aware that my "90 days" (90 days of being a new employee and therefore people giving me a break and being nice) are up but you don't need to prove a point that you can torture me. I am looking forward to the tasks and assignments people will be giving me. but that also doesn't mean you can sit back and laugh like an arrogant bastard.

and when I ask you a simple question, I just want a simple answer. you don't need to explain to me some useless story for 15-20 minutes. and you definitely don't have to go into deep details about everything I ask. "is monty going over this?" is a yes or no question. that's it.

and when someone does give me something to do - don't come into my office and do it for me. I am fully capable of adding a data series on a chart in excel. I just had a simple question about what needed to be done - I didn't not know how to do it. thanks for doing it for me, but that doesn't help me learn nor does it make me look like I know what I'm doing.
my b-dog is just rude, simply put. he'll interrupt you. he'll make you wait while he chats with someone. he comes into my office today - who knows why - and gets a phone call. so he answers it. fine, no biggie. but he talks so freakin' loud and he stays in my office so I can't even concentrate to do anything else while I'm waiting for him. and of course, it's not a short conversation nor does he apologize for taking the phone call or anything (it's just common courtesy). he corrects people with a condescending attitude. he laughs at people when they make an innocent mistake - and not in a fun everyone's-laughing-I'm-just-laughing-along kinda way. and he acts like he thinks he's such a big shot around here.

I think the thing that annoys me the most, though, is how he thinks he has the right to be such a dick and go around changing everything. if you think something is better and can improve the process, then fine, just talk to the supervisors here about it first. don't go talking to your b-dog (rex) so he'll approve it and throw it at chris & tom (the supervisors here at the tankhouse) without giving them any kind of warning. that's just not right. people can be understanding about changes, if you just talk to them first.

on another note, I'm gonna start doing a little ending thing (kinda pretty much stolen from another blog I came across one day). just for fun.





awesome: beagle puppies. this is another beagle puppy (12 weeks old) that I found on craigslist that I super badly want.

lame: $400 re-homing fees for a beagle puppy that isn't even potty trained house trained.

I need me some puppy love

so I somewhat got the go-ahead as to getting a new dog - at least I'm telling myself I did. it won't be the puppy I desperately yearn for - chris is too afraid it's going to chew up all our new furniture - understandable - but I got him to agree to at least an 8 month to a year old dog - which is still considered a puppy. (although he did say a 5 month old puppy was pushing it - so I may be able to talk him down to 6 or 7 months? haha) I'm beyond excited since I've come to terms as to the real reasons I want a puppy so bad.

(1) because chris has ginger. even though ginger is both of ours, she's a daddy's girl for sure. she cuddles with him more on the couch and gets more excited to see him than me. I want a puppy to be care for & to cuddle with & will excited to see me after work.

(2) because I'm itching for a baby. yup. that's right. even though I'm still not 100% sure if I even want to have kids, I have this uncontrollable feeling whenever I see a baby to think awww, I want one. and baby lorelai doesn't help. she is the cutest dangest baby ever. I'm so attracted to this little human being that is so new to everything around her and finds everything interesting and amusing. her excitement to learn intrigues me. the fact that she knows certain things - if you need comfort, she'll pat your back - is amazing. and when I play with her, it reminds me of how simple life can be. how covering your eyes & uncovering them can be so amusing. how good it feels when you learn something new like tying your shoe. she reminds me that life isn't always complicated and stressful. I want my own to bring me that kinda joy every day.

but not right now. not for a while. and not until I get over the fact that I can safely carry a child and it won't be that bad to push it out of my vagina or get a c-section. because right now, that's what I fear the most. I'm hoping a puppy will fool my body into thinking it's like a child so this "itching" can go away.

chris said we can get a puppy soon but not until we move into our house. well thank god our house will be done in about three weeks now! so I'm guessing that in about 5-6 weeks I will have operation: new dog complete.

here's some cute guys I've found so far.

I'd name her moly (short for molybdenum) I'm not sure how old she is - young is what the place say - but she's a pit/lab/shepard mix.

this guy is 7 months old & crate trained. I'm thinking he's a nitro (short for nitrogen of course)

this guy is about 5 months old (they think) & is a lab/pit mix & I love his paws! I'm not sure what I'd name him quite yet though...maybe zirconium or helium?

I've always wanted a beagle puppy! but I could never find any for adoption in arizona so I basically gave up. except I found these little guys on craigslist! aww I want one so bad. I'd name him copper. :)

hopefully I can find one that'll be available the end of may or early june (the beagle puppies are ready may 25th!). we'll see what the boy says.

it's a nice day for a white wedding

because I have too much time on my hands at work, I started a wedding blog. there's not much to it yet, but I'm hoping to use it for ideas and suggestions. I also have the vision of using it to describe our process of putting together a wedding and engagement life and such. my true vision is to have it as like a joint blog where chris can contribute his feelings and thoughts and ideas, but he doesn't seem to keen on the idea yet. but the wedding is a long ways a way and I can understand that he doesn't have much to talk about yet. I told him he didn't have to reveal his deepest feelings but just general thoughts - to give the guy's perspective of the year going up to the wedding. I hope he'll become more open and at least give it a try closer to the wedding or more into the planning process. but his view is "what guy likes blogging?"

know any guys who enjoy blogging?

anyways, please check it out & pass it around to people that are good at advice/suggestions/creative & unique ideas/etc...

commonalities

not only was my beloved puppy adopted this weekend, but Chris also gave me a big fat no. no puppies. (even though he's promised me one.) so I'm on the hunt for a the youngest dog I can get that is crate-trained since that's what we'll mainly have to rely on until it gets old enough to behave in our new home. I found a few, just gotta wait on the approval from the other. I'll keep you posted on operation: new puppy young, well trained, dog.

on a side note - I was talking with a coworker last week who has gotten divorced & has since remarried. since everyone around the offices know that I'm recently engaged, she gave me a bit of advice: you must have great communication & marry someone you have a lot in common with.

whooaaa. hold on there. what was that now? great communication and a lot in common. shit. looks like I'm on the road to divorce.

so I spend the next couple of days down in the dumps. I've always known that chris & I had beyond horrible communication skills - something I keep hoping we'll take time to get some help on - but I didn't think about stuff we have in common, or lack thereof. I started breaking down the facts - at least in my head. I just couldn't think of any one thing that we both have enjoy doing - that we both have a passion for.

we went to the boyce thompson arboretum this weekend & chris kept saying how this lady he knows got married there & how we should get married there. & I told him that I wouldn't want to get married there because, even though we both love nature & stuff, we're not nature/flower freaks & I'd feel like we'd be lying. & then I got to thinking about couples that have those kind of themed weddings that represent who they are as a couple & junk. like couples that love sailing/boating so they get married at sea. or couples that love nature & are hippie-like & get married at an arboretum. chris & I wouldn't be able to do that because we both don't have a passion for something.

I got even more depressed & down so I tried to talk to chris about it. well since we have shitty communication he got frustrated & upset & started acting like I was trying to pick a fight - which I wasn't - I was just trying to voice a genuine concern of mine - that we don't have anything in common & that we're gonna get bored with each other. we argued back & forth when I finally got up & went to my parents & simply asked: "what is the one thing you guys have in common that you both have a passion for?"

my mom looked at my dad with her famous disappointed face (implying that they don't really have one) & my dad flat out said that the don't really have one. but then he went on to say that what has made them work & what has made them get along all these years was that he lets her do her own thing & she lets him do his own thing. they let each other be independent. they still like doing things together, but there isn't one main thing they have in common that they both have a passion for.

ok. I'll buy it. but then I got to thinking even more (I must've done a lot of thinking this weekend - maybe that's why I have a headache this morning) - why do you have to have a lot in common with the person you spend your life with. yeah it's great to do the things you love with someone else, but wouldn't that make you sick of that person quicker? wouldn't it be best to have a few things in common & keep your independence? maybe that way you have time to miss the other - maybe it makes the time you do spend together more meaningful since you do stuff apart. I'm not saying couples that have a lot in common are going to fail, but I don't think it should be pounded in our heads that you need to have a lot in common with the person you're with.

chris & I may not have a lot in common, but the stuff we do binds us together. & we make compromises. I've always loved basketball, something chris never really used to pay attention to, & now we're half-season ticket holders & he's bought his own jersey to wear. I...well...I think chris has made more compromises to my likings than I have to his. I should change that. anyways, we love doing stuff together, but we also value the time we have apart. I think that keeps us sane. when I was with TJ & he wanted to do everything together & spend every moment I'm in town together, I was going crazy. I couldn't handle that. I think it just depends on the person. if you're the kind who needs space, you should be with someone who needs space. if you're one who loves company, then yeah, you should have a lot in common. but not me. I'm happy.